The world has changed, there is no doubt about that. Coronavirus had altered the landscape of our lives personally, locally, nationally and globally. It has affected how we shop, work, educate our kids, travel, socialise and created so much uncertainty that is affecting the mental health of many people around the world.
What are your views on acceptance? Are you able to roll with the punches? Or do you wrestle for control? Do you see acceptance as a weakness? Or is it a strength? Is acceptance a blessing or a curse?
Do you ever feel stuck about a particular challenge? Have you noticed that when you are stuck, you spend more time focusing on the problem of the challenge? You’re actually focusing on the problem rather than placing your attention towards the solution. And because you are focusing on faults, mistakes and general negativity, you feel more stuck. The cycle repeats and deepens and the solution never presents itself.
You’re trying to find more clients, or make more money, get better grades or achieve that promotion. The knock backs keep coming and it reinforces your focus on the problem. Just because your brain is wired to see and focus on problems, it does not mean you have to keep your focus there.
Evolutionarily, it serves your survival to focus on the negative. You see problems so that you can plan and act to prevent or mitigate them. But that is not where you want to maintain your focus. Once you have identified the problem, you want to empower your creativity, imagination and intuition to bring forth the solution. Do not let yourself get caught in the low energy, negative vibe of the problem. Orient towards high energy and positivity and the solution will present itself.
How often have you been stuck on a project or been struggling to find the answer to a problem? In frustration, you take yourself off for a run, a workout, a shower, a nap, meet with a friend, play a game……. And at some point, in the midst of that fun or pleasant activity, the answer comes to you. Like a bolt out of the blue, the solution is crystal clear. This happens so often to me, yet it never ceases to amaze me that it works. I am not bothered why it works. I just know that it works. And that is enough for me.
Give yourself a break
Recently, I felt very stuck and unsure how proceed on a project I am working on. When it is a bigger challenge, I have learned to take myself off for a few days alone. That usually involves long hours walking in glorious countryside without mobile signal, e-mail or distraction from work, friends or family. I allow my mind and body to relax, rest and enjoy the scenery. I sleep a lot, remain in solitude as best I can (it’s hard to find in the UK sometimes unless you’re up a mountain, and even then), and keep a note pad with me at all times. When the answers come, they happen fast, and it can be challenging to keep up. Flashes of inspiration, insight and clarity come to me. Then I can spend time working out how I can implement them.
This stuck project is a book I have been researching for years. I set aside 111 days between November 2019 and March 2020 to write a first draft. By December 2019, I was stuck as the writing felt flat, uninspired and dull. I had researched for a book about science and spirituality but found it hard to make it relevant to people’s daily lives and what was true for me at that time in my life. In a biting storm with horizontal hail near Coniston Water in The Lake District, the answers came to me. Buffeted by the wind, I struggled to get the notes down, but I had the essence of the theme for the book now. I’m taking a break from writing to write this.
Get out of your own way
So, I have learned that there is a process that I need to allow to happen. I have to get out of my own way. My Inner Critic or Saboteur will try to keep me focused on worrying about the problem. The job of my best self (Inner Leader, Superhero, CEO, Head of the Board, Captain of the Ship) is to focus on the fun stuff, the positive thoughts that bring me joy, relax me and allow the answers to come winging in from the inner wisdom of my intuition, imagination and creativity. As Liz Gilbert says in her TED talk “Your elusive creative genius”, keep showing up in that process, connect to what brings you joy and if and when the solution comes, act on it.
Whether it is short-term goals or long-term, the process is the same. In long-term goals, there will be more flashes of inspiration, that will guide you along the way. Do not spend the time focusing on the negativity, mistakes or faults. That is where you are, but it is not where you are wishing to be. Allow what is to be to become and be guided by your creativity, intuition and imagination.
When I coach people through their challenges, I support clients to connect to that positive inspiration, the resonance that affirms a life well-lived, in fulfilment, meaning and purpose. When clients are stuck, we focus on core values and the things that bring their inner strength and wisdom to the fore. Together they build a head of steam from which the solutions emerge. If you have challenges you want to overcome, get in touch and let’s connect you to your creative, empowered and best self.
Over to You
Do you feel stuck sometimes? What do you do to overcome the feeling? Do you focus on the problem? Or are you focusing on the solution? When you try this method, how did it work out for you? What would you change or fine tune? What methods do you use to get unstuck and get solution focused?
Pass it on
Was this blog useful? If so, why not send it to someone else who might benefit from the ideas shared. Thanks for spreading the love.
I listen to people tell me how they bully themselves into working longer hours, getting up earlier, going to bed later, driving themselves at the desk and the gym regardless of how they might be feeling. As if to listen to your body when it is tired or in need of a break is a weakness. And then it is no wonder you get knocked sideways by a cold or backache that has you in bed for a week. Or a more serious medical condition.
Gratitude and Appreciation
Over to You
Pass it on
Are you searching for more meaning in your life? Would you like to live from a place of purpose and meaning? Are you looking for work that touches your soul, heart and spirit? Do you have a sense of what that might look like? Or are you baffled by these questions? Are you keen to discover YOUR answers and open the doors to your full potential?
I believe that to feel complete and whole is what drives us. To come to terms with the pains and wounds and shadows of our lives and find healing for them. You may not say in those words, but there is a search for freedom- from pain, doubt, fear, anxiety and insecurity. And your wounds are the routes to that freedom.
Each person’s journey is unique and brings with it, unique challenges. This discovery leaves us with questions about why we are here, what is fulfilling and meaningful to us and how we can bring this meaning to fruition for the improvement of our lives and the lives of those around us. And perhaps even the world at large. It doesn’t have to include your paid work, but I think that you would enjoy greater fulfilment in that work if it was aligned in some way to what has meaning and purpose for you.
Closing doors, turning off the lights
Annette Simmons explains it in Quantum Skills for Coaches like this. I paraphrase: you are like a house with many rooms. Each room represents a part of you: joy, love, curiosity, humour, playfulness, worthiness, confidence, truth, belief, trust, speaking up, integrity and so on. Every room had its door open and the Light on, at some point in your life. You were free to explore every inch of that house and you did. You visited regularly and life was a joyous adventure. Therefore, your Light shone on the world the way young people’s Light shines spontaneously, unapologetically and fiercely. However, some rooms you ended up closing the door to and plunging it into darkness. And so, your Light on the world became dimmed and your power and passion were diminished.
We get shamed, humiliated, hurt, disappointed, abused, violated, made bad or made wrong and we shut off to ourselves. It could be a harsh word, or a cruel action, a leaving, an absence, a lack of communication and many other things. It could be many small things over time, or it could be a single defining moment.
However it happens, we reach a point where we believe we have done something wrong and we hide that side of ourselves away in darkness. You might have been told off when you expressed unabashed joy at something, so really letting your joy show becomes unacceptable- so much so that you may not even allow yourself to feel joy or find joy in others unacceptable or wrong. Or perhaps adults in your youth did not keep their promises and so you find it hard to trust others? Maybe a parent did not show you love and so you think you are unlovable? Perhaps you had to step into the role of carer for parents, siblings, grandparents or yourself too soon and now you always prioritise others’ care rather than your own.
Follow your Bliss
Life then becomes a journey of rediscovering those rooms, opening the doors and turning the Lights back on. You do this by “following your bliss” as the great Joseph Campbell said. And the interesting thing about following your bliss is that you love it because it is longed for. Perhaps it has been missing or you did not have enough of it in the past. This longing leads you to one of your rooms, perhaps to many.
One example of this is from my own childhood. Talking openly was not something that happened in our household and so I have a longing for transparency, openness and truth. I see this in many people who had similar experiences to me. As a result, I believe, I have developed a fascination with philosophy (literally meaning “love of wisdom or truth”) and developed keen listening skills to help myself and others come to their own truth and wisdom through life coaching and facilitation.
Campbell’s full quote is “Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls”. This has been true for me as I have found healing through discovering the truth about my past and present which allow me to build a future of my own choice. I have clients who have known abuse in childhood and infidelity in marriage leading to disabling limitations. And yet, explore that pain and wounding and on the other side has been the path to self-love and the joy of living the life they feel they truly deserve- fulfilling, love-filled, meaningful and on purpose.
The path to your bliss usually comes in unexpected ways. It is not what your “head” would normally identify as the proper path. Typically, it leads you towards all kinds of opportunities that seem out of the ordinary. In my life, I had a career in science mapped out. However, my intuition or “gut” took me toward martial arts and within a decade I had ditched the neuroscience career and was teaching people Karate, Aikido and Iaido and how to apply those principles to have greater success in business, relationships and life in general. That opened doors to life coaching and workshop facilitation as well as volunteering for Samaritans. As Campbell said, “we must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”
The doors to freedom
Those things that you seek to recover that make you feel whole, are often those things that you fear. To survive without them, you make them wrong or bad or fearful. Yet you feel like something is missing and so you go in search of them. You become caught in this interplay between moving towards what you seek and away from what you fear.
It takes great courage to face these challenges. The last quote from Campbell, “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek” points to this truth. If you want your life to flourish, you cannot settle for survival. You find a way to allow yourself to thrive.
This has always been the narrative of the Hero’s Journey- think Star Wars or Harry Potter. The Hero’s Journey is not only a modern theme- it is as old as humanity. You’ll see it in the Old and New Testaments of the Bible, the Koran, the Bhagavad Gita in Hinduism and The Tale of Gilgamesh from Babylon. You are the hero of your life- the only one who can set you free from the fear that currently holds you back from living that fulfilling life. The same life that finds its meaning in facing these fears. In facing your fears, the clarity of your purpose begins to coalesce. Your Light shines brighter and brighter as you face more fears and rediscover the house that is you, illuminating your way and allowing you to share your gifts with the world.
Gifts to the World
Find whatever means you can to bring your gifts to the world. They are sorely needed and in living them, you will live the fulfilling life you dream for yourself. There will be challenges. There may even be dragons. And there will be Princes and Princesses, Kings and Queens, adventures and miracles. Life is not complete without the Light AND the dark, pain and joy, love and fear. Learn ways to embrace the Light, find the joy and allow the love to flow. Pain, fear and darkness are always present. In your Light the darkness is banished, the fear becomes manageable and the pain you feel a product of the power of your love. So, seek the Light and rediscover the house that is YOU.
Over to you
If you’d like to rediscover your Light and find your purpose to make life more fulfilling and meaningful for you, why not contact me and we can discuss how you can begin to make that a reality.
Like all of us, you probably find it hard to change. We all have those habits that do not serve us fully, that we wished we could alter to give us more worthwhile and life-fulfilling outcomes. Habits are hard to break. Your awareness of them and the willingness to overcome them over time are inspiration to make great change and do whatever it takes to create the life you truly desire for yourself. It is easy to get caught up in your head, in the words that tell you “don’t bother” or “it’s too hard” or “things are OK as they are.” I’m assuming you want more? Therefore, I believe you want to access your greatness and do things in your life that make your heart sing.
Friend and Foe
Habits are your friends and your foes in this game. Friends because they can allow life-affirming habits to play out without much challenge or conscious effort. Foes because other habits that drain your life energy and passion for life often move unnoticed, operating out of your awareness, leaving you powerless to take alternative action.
Your body is wired and programmed to support you in your current patterns of behaviour. There are well worn pathways in your nervous system and therefore in your organs, cells and energy that go to make you, you. Those behaviours will have been created because they served you at some point in your life. You might have learned to be accepting or non- conformist in your youth because it allowed you to adapt and survive your circumstances. However, now, as an adult, you might find those behaviours create outcomes that no longer serve you. You might notice that different outcomes would give you more of what you want: agency, confidence, empowerment, intimacy and more.
Biology and Behaviour
To achieve this, you need to change your biology and the nerve pathways that create your behaviour. Sound overwhelming? Well, the good news is that you have control over your biology. You can practice new behaviours consciously until they become your new pattern of behaviour. A warning though. It takes consistent practice. However, it can be fun if you take a playful and light-hearted view of this process of change and transformation. Which is itself perhaps a change of habit that takes practice as well?
Dr Joe Dispenza says that “nerve cells that fire together wire together”. It’s a simple, catchy phrase that speaks the truth about building new habits of thought and behaviour. It implies your brain and nervous systems are dynamic playgrounds of change and learning. Nerve cells are connecting and disconnecting all the time as your thoughts and behaviour demand new biology. Conversely, your biology determines your thoughts and behaviour.
A helpful Metaphor
So, what is going on in our brains and nervous systems? I like to think of the pathways created by your nerves like roads for traffic. You have the super-fast motorways, the dual carriage ways and the slower country lanes. You also have the bridleways and footpaths and even the tracks. I love walking in The Lake District and the hills and valleys are full of these walk ways. The lesser walked paths and tracks can be almost indiscernible. It is slow going. The larger tracks are easier to follow and you can walk faster along them.
The more used pathways are larger, well- established and allow for faster speeds. Lesser used paths are smaller, less robust and less direct. Therefore they support slower speeds. Well-established habits are the superhighways. New thoughts and behaviours are the tracks that are nigh on impossible to discern. To change a track to a motorway takes practice, purpose, patience and perseverance. And to turn an out-dated superhighway into lush green fields again requires the same “4 P’s”. In other words, it requires conscious effort applied consistently to build new pathways and behaviours and dismantle old, out-moded ways of doing and being.
This is why breaking habits is so challenging. Your biology is programmed to support well-established behaviours. They take little effort and happen automatically. To change that behaviour requires a lot of effort and it’s easy to slip back into old ways. Now you know why. Your biology is programmed to do so. You can learn more here:
Biology and Behaviour inter-relate
Any athlete will tell you the same. On the build up to 2012 Olympics in London, Greg Rutherford, the Team GB gold medalist spent 4 years retraining his body to lead with his left leg rather than his right so that he could launch into his long jump without injuring his hamstring. 4 years!!!!!! Yet to get to Olympic standard that’s how long it took him to fully embody and courageously make that jump consistently for gold. Make no mistake, any habit is the same. Perhaps it doesn’t take 4 years, but it will take time and effort to create new habits. How do you respond to events in your life? How would you like to respond differently? Will you practice the changes of habit required to make that possible?
Let me give you an example. One of my habits is that I can respond to loud people who are in my face by withdrawing, keeping my distance and refusing to engage with them. I recently interacted with a wonderful work colleague who at first triggered this behaviour in me. I allowed myself to be triggered until I noticed it. At that point I was able to do something about it.
So, I made a conscious effort to engage rather than withdraw, interact rather than keep my distance and be willing to connect rather than refuge to engage. Within moments the relationship was transformed, and we shared a lot of mutual learning, wisdom and experience as a result. I need to keep practicing this until it becomes my default, automatic and unconscious way of being and doing in the face of loud people. Until then, I can make the journey of transition easier by exercising self- compassion and recognising it won’t happen overnight. The outcomes of such choices are far more satisfying to me now, than the results I used to get. As I grow, my intentions change, the outcomes transform as a result and my choices are aligned to my values and life purpose.
So, what are the “4 P’s”?
To change the wiring of your nervous system you need to practice the behaviour the new wiring that behaviour requires. Otherwise that wiring will never take hold and your new desired behaviour will never become established.
Align your new desired behaviour to values and life purpose that feels compelling and inspiring. I value connection, so my behaviours want to reflect connection. My life purpose relates to clarity, so I want to see and know people at depth, not just their surface level actions.
Failure and success are both great teachers. They show what you do right as well as point to where improvements are required. That is part of the process. As the new wiring becomes more established less, conscious effort is required. It is a work in progress and an unfolding process. Stick with it.
It’s easy to give up or allow yourself to be distracted by other things. When you’ve been on that amazing workshop or retreat or read that inspiring blog, you feel compelled to take action. Yet in the busyness of everyday life you forget to practise, and all that good intention gets lost along the way. Therefore, put structures in place to remind you. Remain accountable to yourself by allowing someone else to hold you accountable. Commit daily to your promise to yourself.
So that’s why habits are hard to break, create and maintain. The awesome power of your biology that makes habits so effective is the same thing that makes them a challenge to change. Yet, if you want different outcomes to circumstances, you have to change how you respond to them. And that takes practice, purpose, patience and perseverance.
The Yoda Moment
Habits are instrumental to the core of your being. I believe we are born with great wisdom that gets covered up with thoughts, ideas and concepts given to us by others. These ideas, thoughts and concepts become habits that mask some of our greatness, uniqueness and authenticity. To uncover and reclaim them fully, we must learn new habits, life-affirming habits, habits that allow our magnificence to shine. I love coaching and using the body and mind in coaching to effect these transformations.
“We all came into this world gifted with innocence. But gradually, as we became more intelligent, we lost our innocence. We were born with silence, and as we grew up, we lost the silence and were filled with words. We lived in our hearts, and as time passed, we moved into our heads. Now the reversal of this journey is enlightenment. It is the journey from head back to the heart, from words, back to silence; getting back to our innocence in spite of our intelligence. Although very simple, this is a great achievement.” —Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
Whatever form of self-development you are engaged in right now, please know your greatness, uniqueness and authenticity is much needed in the world. There are a wealth of resources available in the world today to serve you in uncovering those gifts and changing your habits is an essential part of that journey.
Over to you
How successful are you at changing old habits? What’s your awareness like at noticing old patterns. How is your willingness to change? What do you do to ensure success? How does this information make it easier/ harder? What’s your new perspective? I’d love to hear about your successes….. and your failures. How can I support you in your transitions and transformations? What do you need for greater success?
Pass it on
Please forward this article to someone struggling with breaking unsupportive habits. Alternatively, send it to people in need of support as they go through their own growth and get frustrated that it takes so long. Nothing is wrong it simply takes time…. and knowing that can make all the difference.
I was recently asked to run a workshop for The Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health (RCPCH) on resilience. A dictionary definition of resilience is “an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change”. The concern was that employees have tools and resources that can make them more resilient.
What do you do when you feel stuck? You name it!!!
Petra came to me feeling in limbo. She felt no motivation to do anything. No inspiration came to her to move forward. She felt isolated, stuck, mistrustful and withdrawn from the world. She was also unsociable.
When we agreed to work together, Petra’s energy and vitality were at a real low. There was a heaviness around and within her. She said she felt tight and constricted. I mentioned that this heaviness and constriction reflected how she was behaving. Naming something can be a powerful tool in life coaching to highlight to a client what might not be so obvious to them. They live with it day after day and it can become invisible to them. This touched her deeply and she resolved and committed to getting out that first week for some gentle exercise and perhaps some social interaction. I invited her to notice how things changed for her and what felt possible from this new perspective. We left this external exploration for a short while to see how it evolved.
The Client is Naturally Creative, Resourceful and Whole
As an alternative focus, we looked at her inner world. By doing visualisations we tapped into inner wisdom and knowing, that directed Petra towards some deep insight and support. Over the next few weeks, Petra regularly did these visualisations, building a picture of inner strength, peace and presence. This taps into one of the corner stones of Co-active coaching which is that the client is naturally creative, resourceful and whole. The answers come from within, as long as the client is in resonance with their power, confidence and inner wisdom. This empowers the client to think and act from a place of “I know the answers” even when they feel lost and confused. It just takes a shift in mindset.
What also came up was a victim mindset. A voice that was derisive of the values Petra was beginning to tap into. Unworthiness and playing small were big themes that had played out throughout Petra’s life. Most especially in her relationship with her parents and partner. She committed to creating a new story that she could repeat to herself. It would allow her to build a better future- something to begin to trust and believe in. She also resolved to understand her victim mindset and apply her new- found values to her own inner journey of forgiveness and understanding.
This was the turning point- the beginning of something child- like, spontaneous, creative and joyful. Putting on a brave face and appearing confident had been a hallmark of Petra’s behaviour in the past. This was accompanied by a sense of being a fraud. Now things felt very different. She said there was an authentic confidence that erupted spontaneously that she was no longer willing to censor.
Life builds from Resonance
Ideas for her life came spontaneously too. Holidays she had only dreamed of, retirement plans abroad and learning new languages. A refreshed vitality to life was beginning to blossom. And all from aligning and resonating with the fulfilment, purpose and meaning Petra was beginning to discover for her life.
People can come to coaching in a deep, dark place. Yet, this first step of reaching out for support is so important and powerful. We did not need to dig around in Petra’s past to find the answers. It is a common question from prospective clients to ask, “What is the difference between coaching and counselling?” Put simply, counselling looks to the past to unearth the answers. Coaching looks to the present to see how the client feels here and now and then builds resonance with an empowering vision from which the client can build their future. Rather than look into her past only, Petra asked her present self all the questions and the answers pointed her to what she needed to move forward. Her willingness to go deep and stick with it was a testament to her commitment and resolve.
Forward the action, deepen the learning
She recognises that the journey continues to unfold. She has tools now she can take forward to tackle the challenges of the future and she will learn more as she continues the coaching journey.
From whatever point in your life you are, coaching can support you in building alignment and resonance with your vision of how you would like your life to be. It takes action and often some challenging steps to build that future. Petra is a testament to that hard work and commitment towards a new and empowering future. With every action step comes learning and deepening understanding. In time the client transforms into the person who IS living the dream they imagined for themselves.
Over to You
Are you willing to look at what makes a truly fulfilling life for you? Do you want to live with meaning and purpose? Would you like someone to be with you as you tackle the challenging emotions that ultimately lead to growth and transformation? Do you want to connect to your inner greatness and have that be an active, creative and nurturing part of your life? If you are wondering whether coaching can help you create more of the life you want to be living, why not get in touch?
Pass it on
If you know anyone who is contemplating a life coaching journey please send them the link to this blog and give them the opportunity to learn about co-active life coaching and how it can benefit. Alternatively, if you know someone who is stuck in their life and would be willing to take this beautiful, transformational journey, please send them the link too- it might be the inspiration they need to take that first step. Thank you.
Stuck in Overwhelm
A few months ago, Philipa (not her real name) approached me to see if coaching could help her overcome her feeling of overwhelm by the demands of her work and life.
She said that she had an internal dialogue going on that caused her to sabotage whatever she tried to do. She was sick of it and weary of not being able to make any progress.
We agreed to start working together and the first thing we did was take Phillipa on a magic carpet ride! She experienced what it felt like to have fun, feel supported, be full of energy and in a place where the destination was less important than enjoying what she was doing.
Philipa practiced this over the next couple of weeks, and this changed her feeling of being overwhelmed. It broke the belief that she needed to grind through and struggle to get anything done and freed her to hold lightly the things she had committed to. Rather than diminish her resolve to complete them, this made her commit to them more. She was quite literally, enjoying the journey.
Because things weren’t such a grind, Philipa was being much more effective and an added benefit was that she had more time to spend with her family – something she desperately needed and wanted.
Enjoying the Journey
Philipa’s move from thinking about the destination and more about enjoying the journey was a pivotal moment. It allowed her to think more about her relationships and enjoy the process as it unfolded.
However, this exposed a powerful sense of loneliness.
This was a tough area for Philipa to explore but she fought through it. The rewards were clarity, strength, resolve and confidence.
It’s quite typical that when someone starts coaching, they start by focusing on a small area of their lives. Very soon, as Philipa’s journey demonstrates, it opens up into so much more. This in turn brings about broader and deeper fulfillment and a sense that life has greater meaning and purpose.
If you’d like to discuss how coaching could help you with issues that are causing you concern and would like to create your own magic carpet ride, give me a call!
One of the most important things to me in all the work I do, be it life coaching, Mindful Movement workshops, writing, teaching and facilitating, is holding a vision for what is really possible.
Human beings are generally so much more capable, resourceful and creative than they realise for their own potential. In fact, these limiting ways of viewing ourselves can become so all- consuming that we forget what we are truly capable of, the resources deep within and the creativity that can emerge from us.
This limited view holds us in check. It may stop us being all that we can be, living the fulfilling life we want to live, directed with meaning and purpose. To break free of this, it helps to have someone beside you who will champion, acknowledge and hold the vision of your best self. A person who will support and encourage you throughout the journey. Most especially when you are struggling to hold that vision yourself.
It takes time to tease out the details of an individual’s vision of how they want their best life to be. As a life coaching relationship develops and deepens, that clarity allows both coach and client to orient ever closer to the client’s greatest vision for themselves. Yet from session one, the coach trusts in the client’s resourcefulness and creativity to create whatever life the client truly wants for themselves. It will take many action steps. Along the way much learning will be had and growth and progress will be made.
Vision becoming reality
What is the vision for your business? What kind of parent do you wish to be? How do you want your life to look in retirement? Do you have a vision for your health and wellbeing? Painting a vision of what these things look like for you, how they feel, the values that are honoured by living this way, the compelling inspiration that touches you deeply within, all contribute to making this vision become a reality.
In his book “Think and Grow Rich”, Napoleon Hill advises creating a statement you say morning and night that sets a powerful intention about exactly what you want to achieve, a time scale and the ways in which you would like to do it. A commitment to life coaching can set a similar intention. You set out your vision, infused with the very heart of what is important to you. You’ll show up every week or fortnightly to learn ever more deeply, test and challenge what works best. Then, you will review, recommit and take action towards the next step.
What builds over time is a momentum, strength and power that comes from within. In fact, it seems to have a life of its own. All you need do is steer the ship. There is a sense of congruency and alignment that lends conviction and strength of purpose to your life journey.
On those occasions when you are in doubt, your life coach (or perhaps a friend, mentor, guide or advisor in a different capacity) will remind you of that vision. Hold up the picture you so carefully created and ignite in you the forces that drive you to that vision in the first place.
Here are some examples of how holding vision can orient you towards a more fulfilling life:
Is your career or business demanding later evenings or eating into your weekends? Does the vision of spending evenings and weekends with family inspire you to creative solutions to get that life work balance right?
Is your intimate relationship struggling with emotional distance? How does your vision of deep connection and long term intimacy empower you to have those challenging conversations you might otherwise avoid?
Does your health suffer due to poor diet, lack of sleep and insufficient exercise? How can the vision of your vibrancy, vitality, strength and power well into old age inspire you to take action now and continue to take action for a healthier present and future?
Your vision of financial abundance can be the catalyst to get out of debt, manage money better and increase your earning potential.
The vision of close and supportive friends can be a drive to connect more with people. Find hobbies that resonate deeply with your interests and foster loving and respectful relationships.
A vision for how life CAN be is a powerful reference point to inspire action here and now. It can help a lot to have someone champion that vision, acknowledge the effort you make and the success you achieve, and challenge you when you lose sight of it. These are some of the ways life coaching can support you in creating that life vision. And keep creating it so that you live in fulfilment and on purpose throughout your life.
Over to you
What vision do you have for your life? Do you have one? Would you like one? How might a vision for your life inspire you? How would a vision for your life affect the decisions you make and the actions you take? What do you do to sabotage your vision? How does this disempower you? How might a life vision empower you?
Pass it on
I’d love to hear your answers, thoughts and ideas to these questions. Why not spread the discussion to your friends, family and colleagues. Send the blog link to them and suggest they get involved?
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