Children's palms facing forward with the letters of forgiveness painted on with different colours

Do you wonder if you are good enough?

The pattern and the trap of this is that we are working from the outside in, looking for external validation to feel OK about ourselves. It just doesn’t work that way. We might enjoy some reprieve from the anxiety of thinking “I’m not enough”, but it will swiftly return because we are constantly looking for confirmation that we are OK from the outside. But it is not an outside job. The job is done from the inside.

This is how it worked for me.

Are you a Nice Guy?
Do you strive to be agreeable, accommodating, prioritise other people’s needs and ignore your own for a quiet life or to avoid confrontation?
Being Nice may not be getting you all that you want.
Being Nice might mean saying “yes” more than you really want to so that you feel liked, loved and accepted. All too often, the result is that you feel overwhelmed, exhausted, frustrated and resentful.

How are you when you experience rejection?

When you do something that might lead to rejection, how do you behave?  Do you hold back and not put in your all?

When you take action, are you actually looking for acknowledgement from others?  What happens if you don’t get it?  How do you respond if the feedback is critical?

Seeking acknowledgment from others is a trap.  If you do that, you are outsourcing your power.  At best, there is only temporary relief from the fear and worry of wondering “Am I good enough?”  The feeling of relief comes from outside your self-from other people.

There is NO freedom in that.

What voice have you been trained to listen to?

The external voice of teachers, parents, authority figures and those around you?  Or the inner voice of your Sovereign Leadership?

If you are anything like me, you are well trained in listening to the external voices.

And, like me, you probably fought against those voices at certain times in your life. 

There is an investment in your life, whether it is the work you do, building relationships with family, friends and colleagues or life projects.  There is the time, energy and focus.  And then there is a depth to your investment that takes time to drop into and therefore takes time to step out of.

What if with a simple shift of your body, you could have 100% confidence in your leadership ability and decision making? Leadership is an inherent quality in all living things.  In the language of archetypes, that inherent quality is Sovereign.  All living things have the inherent ability to stand in their sovereignty. You can access your sovereignty by the way you stand and hold yourself.  By bringing attention to the alignment, sensations and feelings in the body, you can embrace your Sovereign leadership.

How different would your life be if you felt worthy? Not based on some criteria created by unknown ghosts from the past you never met who said it should be so.  But based on how nature intended.  So that you listened to the inner voice of wisdom that guides you to your highest potential.  A potential that keeps evolving as you evolve.  How free would you feel?  What would you create?  How would you do things differently?  How would you show up?  How would you view failure and how would you learn from your mistakes?  And how would that inspire the next stage of your development and growth?

Inherent self-worth is not about being perfect.  It is about being on the playing field of life.

I wanted to share with you the learning from my recent medical emergency. Just to say, all is well. In fact, I have not felt better, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. You will see why as I share. And the reason to share? Well, it crystallises my own learning and it may offer some insight for your own journey of personal growth and self-mastery. At the very least, it might be a good read.

Have you ever been in a job or a relationship where you felt that you were not being yourself?  That by wearing a mask, you would fit in and make that job or relationship work somehow.  Perhaps you really needed the job or felt like it was the job you “should” go for.  Or maybe you didn’t want to be alone, so you were prepared to enter a relationship and hide parts of yourself or put on a show, so that you would feel loved? So, how do you get that authenticity back?  How can you remove the mask?

Have you ever needed resolve to follow through on something in service of a larger goal?  Or fiercely defended a person, belief, purpose or value that is dear to you and under threat?  Have you taken decisive action, even in the face of opposition or disinterest in service of integrity?  Are you ever bravely vulnerable in your relationships and share something with a partner or friend where there is the risk they will laugh at, or ridicule, you?  Do you open yourself to risk of failure?  If you have done any of these, you would have recruited the Warrior archetype.

Conversely, if you haven’t, would it serve you to cultivate Warrior, so that you are better able to honour these qualities in yourself?