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How to make the dream happen?

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Sometimes I wonder how I’m going to achieve what I have dreamed.  How am I going to realise the vision?  I worry about finding the money, creating the opportunities to bring my vision into reality. How am I going to generate the networks? How can I build the audience that loves my message and wants to benefit from what I have to share? Do you find your self posing these questions about your own journey? If so, please read on as this may be useful to you.

Know your “Why?”

Simon Sinek talks about the three circles of how leaders inspire action: ‘why’, ‘what’ and ‘how’. As passionate creators who want to make a difference, people with a message get what Ben Tristem calls ‘mad how’s disease’. We obsess about how we are going to achieve our goals.  Without deeply considering the ‘why’ and the ‘what’.  These are the source of our drive and the manner in which we share it with the world. I have spent years working out my ‘why’ and my ‘what’. I want to know ‘HOW!’

For those of you interested, my ‘why’ is simply to bring people to their fullest potential.  The on- going process of growth and development that keeps driving people to ask ‘Is there more to life and my self than this?’ Through embodiment, mental and physical awareness (both rational and intuitive) as well as a connection to your soul I believe you travel on an unending spiral of maturity and understanding that brings you closer to your answer to this question. This has driven me on my journey to connect with the mysteries of life.  It has led me to encourage others through one- on- one sessions, workshops and weekend retreats.

When the way forward isn’t clear

Recently, in a state of frustration over how we are ever going to achieve our master plans, I committed Emma (my partner) and I to a Sunday afternoon brainstorming session. Bravely we stuck at it for a while.  We got progressively more despondent and bogged down in facts and details without any flashes of inspiration.  Nor did we have the lightness that so often comes with sessions such as these.  In the end it was Emma who said ‘Perhaps we just have to hold the vision in our minds.  May be that is enough for now until things become clearer?’ Instantly, the weight lifted and the joy of our lives’ works returned.

In her flash of insight she made me realise that the ‘how’ comes in stages and often in unexpected ways. The journey is convoluted, making it exciting, frustrating, educational, inspiring, insightful and so much more at different times. To know the whole plan is an illusion or the insistent delusion of a control freak. To hold the plan gently and consistently in the mind keeps the intuition awake for any possibilities.  The mind can work with these to create action and results in the knowledge that one is in fact far less in control than one imagines.

Creating Vision Boards

One of the spin offs of Emma’s insight was to create a vision board. It is a work in progress.  Every time I look at what is already on the board I am reminded of my commitments, desires and dreams. I notice that I think about the vision more.  I make the connections to that vision when events and opportunities present themselves. The ‘how’ becomes clearer daily as I grow and develop along my ever moving path.

So this blog is a thank you to Emma and her insight which greatly helped me and us both. I hope you are reminded of her wisdom the next time the frustration gets the better of you when you insist on answers more concrete than the present allows. Stay focussed on your dreams, most importantly know your ‘why’, be clear about your ‘what’ and the ‘how’?…… Well, let that unfold.

Why not………..

If you found this article useful and interesting please pass it on to other people you think would be interested and spread the word.  I would really appreciate it.  And if you are new to Potentiality Coaching, why not sign up to the e- mailing list at https://www.potentialitycoaching.co.uk/ and get an e- mail straight to your in box when I post my monthly blog and be first to hear about news, information and insights at Potentiality Coaching.  I’d love to have you be part of the community.

 

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Freedom to Choose

Do you find your self limited by old ways of thinking? Are you frustrated by getting the same results time and again?  Do you hold on to old ways of thinking that do not work? Would you challenge an old perspective?  Do you notice your self blaming others for the undesired results you get?

Do you come at challenges from the same direction? Can you change how you look at things so that you see them with fresh eyes and have different outcomes? Do you get bored with your career, relationships and perhaps even your self? Are you fed up with walking the same path?

Perhaps you need to challenge your thinking? May be what you bring to the table is contributing to the frustration? What if you were to look at the situation from another perspective? What if you could see a situation like a child, without boundaries, limitations or blinkered thinking?

Ritual Action

Without boundaries there is no need for limited perspectives, just the freedom to move and think as you choose

Without boundaries there is no need for limited perspectives, just the freedom to move and think as you choose

I came across this gate without fencing on either side of it in an open field while walking in Cambridgeshire.  It looked so strange in its place that I had to take a picture ( the wonders of modern technology).

Clearly at some point it had marked an access across a boundary. Now that boundary had gone and the gate was obsolete. I walked through it as a homage to old ways of thinking and ideas.

That ritual got me thinking about our entrenched ways of looking at life in general and at specific situations in particular. If we could break down the boundaries we wouldn’t then be forced to enter a situation from a given viewpoint.  Without boundaries there would be no need for a limited perspective, just the freedom to move and think as you choose.

Altering perspective

Let me share two examples in my life. I have a relationship with my bank that until recently has driven me mad with frustration. Every interaction I had with them from withdrawing money at ATMs, to speaking with staff or even internet banking left me agitated as I struggled with PINs, passwords and seemingly endless bureaucracy. One day I had the thought “Perhaps it’s me?”  When I complained about the bank to others, no one else seemed to have a problem.

I vowed to enter into interactions with the bank from then on with a new perspective and low and behold I have not had a frustration with them since. The boundaries I had created forced me to walk into any interaction with the bank through a certain gate- let’s call it “The Frustration Gate”. Once I dissolved away the boundaries there was no need to walk through “The Frustration Gate” any more.  I was free to interact with the bank openly and without feeling disempowered.

My second example goes much further back. My memories of childhood had overwhelmingly been very sad. I looked back at childhood with a dark veil over it and I imagined myself a victim and totally without power. Challenging that mind set has been liberating, allowing me to see that a few terrible situations had coloured my vision of my entire childhood. A sad yet avoidable truth. It has taken work which is on- going and now I see my childhood memories with so much more colour. Perhaps some boundaries are gone? Perhaps there are more gates now to the boundaries that remain? Who knows. What I do know is something is shifting, bringing joy and light into my life that wasn’t there before. That can only be a good thing.

Transformation and Freedom

So if you find your self endlessly meeting frustration and disappointment in life, perhaps there is more you can do than you realise? What can you do to challenge your old thinking? Can you create “gates” that bring new perspectives? What can you do to remove boundaries? Have a brainstorming session and see if there could be other ways to look at the situation? Talk with friends and colleagues about the way you see things?

As a life coach I see people’s lives transformed just by viewing old scenarios from another perspective, giving clients power, choice and the freedom to create the life they truly want for themselves.  When I teach I witness students’ horizons broaden with every new perspective they create for themselves.  As a leader I observe people stepping beyond the limited boundaries of their old perceptions and explore new territory that brings new challenges, growth and self- appreciation.

Over to you

I’d love to hear about your experiences of overcoming old ways of thinking and how that has empowered you towards choice and freedom. Please share your frustrations and successes so that we can build a resource on this website that people can come to for education, inspiration and find the ways to live their lives from their fullest potential.

Why not………..

If you found this article useful and interesting please pass it on to other people you think would be interested and spread the word.  I would really appreciate it.  And if you are new to Potentiality Coaching, why not sign up to the e- mailing list at https://www.potentialitycoaching.co.uk/ and get an e- mail straight to your in box when I post my monthly blog and be first to hear about news, information and insights at Potentiality Coaching.  I’d love to have you be part of the community.

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Life Momentum

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Do you feel that your life has momentum? Are you engaged, motivated and energised by the journey you have chosen? Do you notice when your life has drive? Can you relax and allow things to unfold?  Do you recognise the signs that you are coasting? Would you recognise the feeling of your life stagnating? Do you know how to get the drive back?

 

Drive

Like driving a car, life can feel like you are driving forward.  For instance, you have a goal or a destination to reach. It is a wonderful feeling to know you have direction and focus. Perhaps you enjoy the acceleration of the car as you press down on the gas to go faster? It can feel just as invigorating to press down on the accelerator on your life journey.  The energy surges, your mind remains focused on the road.  What is around you and your body feels alive to the whole experience.

This feeling that life is flowing in the right direction for you is a combination of honouring your values and being the person you want to become. The three cornerstones of your being: your physical, mental and spiritual energy.  They are all aligned and pulling in the same direction giving you a sense of power, purpose and potential. You feel alive because you feel that drive.

 Coast

At times, the car can slip out of gear. Even though you are moving forward, you are coasting.  There is no drive any longer as you are moving forward on the back of previous hard work. This feels different to the mind and body as the energy of your life shifts out of drive. You might notice it as an uncomfortable feeling in your mind, a sense that you should be doing something or that there is a lack of energy in your life. In your body you may feel it as slight tension in the shoulders or gut. It’s often so subtle that you barely notice it and yet the signs are there.

There is nothing wrong with coasting- sometimes you have to let things unfold in their natural time.   No matter how hard you drive, things are not going to move forward any faster.  You are better off sitting back and allowing things to develop at their natural pace. The key is to be aware of this state of things.  Rather than be oblivious to the subtle change in feel, you are aware of how these delicate instruments called your body, mind and spiritual energy feel.  What they are telling you about what is happening in your life? You feel it because you are connected to the energy of your life.  You are aware of this energy because you are connected to the energy of your mind, body and spirit.

Stagnate

Leave this coasting long enough and your life comes to a halt. This too is OK as long as you are aware of it.  Sometimes you just do not know where to go and what direction to take. Are you searching?  Do you feel out for the next step? Are you open to change and new ideas?  Are you closed to the prospect of new vistas and new potential? The extreme scenario of this is stagnation, where your life has been at a standstill for a long time. This is often a sign of lack of awareness, lack of purpose or sticking your head in the sand, unwilling to face what you know you have to deal with.

I am all too familiar with this feeling- the relationship I have been in too long, the change in career direction I’m too afraid to take, or simply the DIY jobs I know I have to do. When the car comes to a stop you become familiar with the landscape around you. This can be a comfort, feel safe and unchallenging. If you feel happy with that, then you are in the right place. For many, this sensation feels stressful.  The body is tense, the mind distracted with accompanying feelings of demotivation, lack of energy and lethargy. This is an ideal time for coaching- a chance to give direction to this stagnating energy and let it flow to create something new, exciting and full of potential.

Awareness

You may well be familiar with all three of these feelings. I know I have been at different times in my life. I can feel all three at different times in the same day!!!!! The key is awareness and to recognise the feelings in your body, mind and energy so that you know what they mean and you are able to take effective action. This way you are able to drive when it is appropriate, relax and allow things to unfold when it is time and to rest and gently search for the new direction when you require new focus.

The alternative is to drive when it is not appropriate.  This creates stress and tension for your self and others because it is not time to push hard; or to relax when things need to be driven forward otherwise things will come to a halt creating frustration and confusion for your self and the people around you; or to remain stagnant, disempowered to take action and create the life you want for your self and the people in your sphere of influence.

Reflection

Taking some time out to reflect, be still and listen to the energy of your mind, body and life is important.  You can listen for the signs and hear what they are telling you. You have been endowed by life with this exquisite instrument.  It can tell you the subtle moods and phases of your life.  As a result, take time to listen- go for walks in nature, journal, meditate, talk over ideas with friends and colleagues, go for a drive or other activities that give you a chance to tune in to the messages that your body, mind and life energy are giving you. If you do, it will make you more aware of what needs to be addressed.  It will give you a chance to deal with it.

You are resourceful, creative and whole.  Therefore you have the answers, you simply need to be asking the right questions. Time to reflect can do that for you. And if you feel you need some support in getting going, a life coach may be one of the resources you can call upon.

Over to you

How do you maintain your drive? What resources do you use to get you out of stagnation? Do you find your self relaxing for too long or driving too often or too hard? Whatever your experience, I would love to hear from you.   So why not contribute to our on- line community and help others through this common challenge if you have some keys to success. Or simply offer your experience of being in these situations to offer that sense that others are not alone.

 Pass it on

If you know someone who would benefit from the ideas presented in this blog, please send them the link and give them another opportunity to discover more of their potential.  I would really appreciate it……. and maybe they would too.  And if you are new to Potentiality Coaching, why not sign up to the e- mailing list at https://www.potentialitycoaching.co.uk/ and get an e- mail straight to your in box when I post my monthly blog and be first to hear about news, information and insights at Potentiality Coaching.  I’d love to have you be part of the community.

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Little Signs of Greatness

Enjoy the process of expressing your talent rather than the outcome

Enjoy the process of expressing your talent rather than the outcome

The Little Signs of Greatness

Do you find that people have some really complementary things to say about you that you just don’t see?

When you compare your self- appraisal at work to others’ appraisals of you, do you find there is a gap?  Are there positive comments about your great results, innate skills and natural talents that aren’t in your self- appraisal?

Do you find that people suggest you’d be brilliant at such and such, yet you cannot see how you’d be any good at it at all?  Would people volunteer you for things you’ve never contemplated because they know you’d be great at it?

Do you find that people see qualities in you that you do not see in your self?

I see this time and again as a teacher, leader, mentor and coach. People are oozing their innate skills all over the place.  Very often they are totally unaware of the impact they are having.  Nor do they realise how they are using their skills to create productive meetings, meaningful connections at work and at home, inspired leadership in all areas of their lives and safe space for others to share, explore and learn.

In my experience, people do not recognise the true power of their innate skills and talents because they undervalue them. May be they have been told that these skills have no purpose or use or that they are inappropriate. Perhaps they exhibit skills and the outcome met with ridicule or punishment.

Maybe all that is needed is the chance to practise in a supportive and encouraging environment?

All skills have value, purpose and worth. Just because the value, worth and purpose of a skill is not seen instantly does not mean it is not there- it takes a wise teacher, mentor, leader or coach to take the time to find the true power of any person’s innate skills. Very often that requires you to take command at some point along your journey and take active steps to use those skills for a meaningful and compelling purpose.

From a personal perspective as a school boy, any attempts at creativity were laughed at to the point I believed I had no creative side in me at all. I busied my self with science and sport which I got better results at, thinking my creative days would never appear.

Yet, unnoticed by me, my creativity came out in play, inventiveness, problem solving and sparks of inspired conversation during self development training and workshop events. All this went unnoticed by me for decades, even though people would tell me otherwise.

Until one weekend workshop I was given the opportunity to write poetry. To my astonishment I really enjoyed the process. I was encouraged to continue enjoying the process without attachment  to how good my poetry was. That starting point has blossomed into published book writing, blogs and endless poems and stories I share with students, clients, family and friends over the subsequent twenty years.  That creativity has opened up other avenues in art, music, dance as well as continued exploration in martial arts.

So, before you dismiss these little signs of greatness, please consider these steps:

1). Listen to what other people say they see in you, especially the words of wise people whom you trust, respect and admire. If many people are saying the same things and you don’t see it, may be they’re onto something and you’re missing it.

2). Explore these possible talents without attachment to the outcomes. For an entire year I burned every poem I wrote without reading it- I’ve kept every one since over the last two decades.

3). Enjoy the process most importantly. It is the enjoyment that brings it to life and to light. The fun brings inquisitiveness, curiosity and exploration, encouraging you to delve deeper, learn and experiment.

4). Go with your instinct. This talent may blossom into other areas that feel even more fulfilling. In true self- exploration, the journey never stops as you uncover more and more talent buried deep within.

5). You do not need to publish, share, put on You Tube, do public demonstrations and speeches to own your skill. Yet I encourage you to own it by continuing to explore and develop your skill. Go public if you wish and remember it is the enjoyment and exploration that fuels the passion. It is your passion. Celebrate it in whatever way for feel inspired to do so.

Over to you

What skills are people telling you that you have? How are you cultivating the skills you do possess? What processes have you been through to develop your skills and talents?  Can you think of roles mentors, teachers, leaders of coaches have played in uncovering your talents. I’d love to hear your story and provide an on- line resource for people to find inspiration, support and guidance to uncover their potential and be all they can be.

Spread the word

If you found this article useful and interesting please pass it on to other people you think would be interested and spread the word.  I would really appreciate it.  And if you are new to Potentiality Coaching, why not sign up to the e- mailing list at https://www.potentialitycoaching.co.uk/ and get an e- mail straight to your in box when I post my monthly blog and be first to hear about news, information and insights at Potentiality Coaching.  I’d love to have you be part of the community.

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Answering questions from a different perspective- 4 steps to Body Wisdom

Finding a different perspective can open up a whole new view

Finding a different perspective can open up a whole new view

There is an Einstein quote that I love: “You can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it”. I find it incredibly instructional, because it reminds me of the limitation of one mind set that can be given new light, insight and understanding by viewing it differently. It also reminds me that whenever there is a block in my life, I know that there is at least one way past it somehow if only I take the time to look, explore and discover.

Body Wisdom

Sometimes the process of getting to that new vision can be really challenging as it may ask us to question previously tightly held beliefs that may be long engrained and even foundational to our current life style and way of being.

As a martial arts instructor as well as a life coach I am constantly reminded of the intuitive knowledge of the body. I call this ‘Body Wisdom’.  In martial arts as well as dance, particularly contemporary dance, manifests in movement.  Particularly the spontaneous movement within unstructured forms and personal expression.

To people outside these worlds this may appear strange, yet to those of us sharing this wonderful experience, it is as if the body is speaking to us, through us in freedom, joy and celebration.

We experience this wisdom all the time, in our health, spatial awareness, balance and homeostasis- the body’s dynamic equilibrium of minerals, electrolytes and hydration.

Body Wisdom as a new Perspective

As a life coach people often come to me feeling stuck, challenged and unsure as to which direction to turn and get locked into the story of their journey. This is the conscious mind recounting facts explaining how it got into this situation in the first place. Very quickly what I do is ask clients to access the intuitive, creative and freer part of their minds.  Almost instantly the blocks begin to dissolve away. New action ensues from this new mind set.  Then the conscious mind is given new insight and knowledge which leads to new solutions.

I have a friend who pitches business solutions to companies, in particular industries in which he has no industry track record. To begin with these companies are a little bemused as to why he would bother. Very quickly he poses solutions to their problems that they have never thought of simply because he is not restricted to that particular industry’s mindset and can offer thinking out of the box so to speak.

One source of alternative thinking in life coaching is Body Wisdom. The awareness of the body, it’s feelings, emotions, tensions and pains. I use this a lot with myself as well.  I understand that my body is speaking to me all the time.  Recently, my awareness of tension in the core of my body led me to understand that I have fear around trust.  I am now able to address this in many areas of my life.  Therefore I’m improving my relationships with others both privately and in business as well as with my self.

I use this with clients too, accessing insights that are hidden to the logical, conscious mind normally. It brings freedom, the choice to make a decision consciously rather than be motivated by unconscious drivers. Slowly over time we return fully to our self.  Becoming progressively more present, more available and more powerful in the moment.

Four steps to Body Wisdom

1. Take some time and space to sit quietly and bring your awareness to your body. Deep breathing and progressively relaxing the body helps with this>  It has the additional benefit of calming the mind as body and mind are connected.

2. Become aware of tension in the body. This can really only happen when you are still and aware of the body. It could be shoulders, neck, stomach, back, your jaw, even the breath itself. Wherever there is tension, there is energy held, locked in and not free to flow.

3. Pick a spot. Breathe into this tension. Penetrate deep with your awareness and your breath. When the energy starts to shift this is when the insights come- in words, feelings and often in pictures. Perhaps it is an object or place, what temperature, what textures, sounds and movements are there? This is the body speaking its language. This is Body Wisdom.  Work with the imagery, let the process unfold and discover the wisdom that lies within.

4. If you feel inclined to do so keep notes of your revelations and insights. Most importantly you are setting your self free from the tension that holds you back from being most fully your self. This is an on- going process, constantly unfolding, releasing you from old ways and paving the way for the new.

Body Wisdom is just one way in which you can gain a different perspective on engrained ideas. The key to opening the door to any situation in which you feel stuck or limited is to look at it from new perspectives. Suddenly new information is available to you and new avenues present themselves. If you want to remain stuck in the old view look no further.  If you want freedom, sometimes the body can reveal perspectives to you that not only give new insight.  They can also heal. Such is the power of the body when you give it a chance!

Over to you

As ever, I would love to hear from you.  How do you find the process of accessing Body Wisdom?  What revelations have you had?  How have you overcome the parts you have found challenging?  Please share your thoughts and insights.  You never know you may provide a perspective for  someone else that may help set them free.

Why not………..

If you found this article useful and interesting please pass it on to other people you think would be interested and spread the word.  I would really appreciate it.  And if you are new to Potentiality Coaching, why not sign up to the e- mailing list at https://www.potentialitycoaching.co.uk/ and get an e- mail straight to your in box when I post my monthly blog and be first to hear about news, information and insights at Potentiality Coaching.  I’d love to have you be part of the community.

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A Healthy Way to Success

Build new habits into your life gently

Build new habits into your life gently

You’re serious about your health

Every time you attempt to lose weight you manage it for a while, and then the weight returns as you return to old habits and patterns.

You want to get fit. Each time you set time aside you find something more important or pressing to do and the work outs rarely if ever happen.

You’re aware that you eat too much sugar and fats and not enough fruit and vegetables. Perhaps you know you drink too much alcohol for a healthy, balanced life style.

It can be a challenge to find the mind set that makes the change in behaviour stick and consistently move you towards a healthier and fitter life style.

The All or Nothing Mind Set

Very often we diet and exercise in a compulsive way. We deny our self certain foods like chocolate, biscuits and cake and over load on others like fruit and vegetables and wholemeal this and that. We set our self a punishing exercise regime thinking ‘no pain no gain’. This works for a time and often not for long. The reason I believe is because we are still acting within the confines of the ‘binge culture’.

Just as we binge eat and drink, we can binge exercise and work, binge TV and computer/ on- line gaming, going over- board without a sense of continuity and longevity. We run the risk to burn out, living to excess. With this mind set there is no hope of sustainability. We may get fast results, without a hope of keeping it up.

Slow and gently does it

What has worked for me is a slow and steady mind set. Change your diet step by step, gently reducing the intake, the sugars, the fats and slowly increasing the fibre, the fruit and vegetables and more healthy meats and fish. Alter your exercise habits piece meal- increase the duration, regularity and intensity slowly over time. I am a martial arts instructor and I do this myself- if there is something I cannot do I build up to it until I can. It may take years. Often it doesn’t. I am not gifted, I am not special. This attitude works for all my students. It will work for you.

When we are looking to break habits, we are looking for sustainable change. We want quick results so we blast it. It shocks the body so we are forced to push through, focussed and committed until something distracts us and we take our eye off the ball.

Slow and steady is more gentle. We may get distracted- that’s to be expected. New habits become engrained and we can more easily reintroduce them when we are side tracked.

Over to you

Try it. I’d love to hear about your results. It will work with anything. You will want a healthy dose of patience and a commitment to change. Be gentle- it is the way nature works and the key to uncovering your potential is all aspects of your life.

Would you like to join and expand the community?

If you found this article useful and interesting please pass it on to other people you think would be interested and spread the word.  I would really appreciate it.  And if you are new to Potentiality Coaching, why not sign up to the e- mailing list at https://www.potentialitycoaching.co.uk/ and get an e- mail straight to your in box when I post my monthly blog and be first to hear about news, information and insights at Potentiality Coaching.  I’d love to have you be part of the community.

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Perfection versus Excellence

Do you strive for perfection or excellence?

Do you expect your self to meet the same high standards all the time? Have you noticed that  you bully your self towards perfection, telling your self off for not achieving perfection and giving your self no or little praise for a job well done?

Or for you, is it the opposite? In knowing you will not reach perfection, you often do not try your hardest or may not even try at all, thus avoiding disappointment, ridicule and the effort of a thankless task?

Perfection- a tough master

I was given a different perspective on this recently and wanted to share it with you. Perfection is a tough master and may not be the best way forward to realise your fullest potential. In many respects, perfection is a moving goal post, never fully satisfied. It is not compassionate and is often harsh. In this competitive environment, with others and your self, it is often challenging to give fully of your self, to be open, authentic and self expressive. And yet this is what you must do if you are to be honest with your self and others in your work, life and relationships.

I was at a wedding recently. One of the readings was from ‘Gift from the Sea’ by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. As well as a beautiful message for the couple in their new adventure together, it offered a lesson to the audience about the ebb and flow of relationships, life and love. I could discuss endlessly about this so what I want to do is focus on the ebb and flow of your relationship with your self.

Emotions- an ever- changing state

So often we expect so much of our self. In the pursuit of perfection we chastise our self for perceived short comings and rarely celebrate our successes. We are all dynamic, emotional creatures, changing state almost constantly. I can feel super confident in one moment, then moments later be filled with doubt. Perhaps you are the same or similar?

Anne Morrow Lindbergh alludes to growth being the only constant to:

  • grow in our abilities, to cultivate existing ones and develop new ones;
  • strive for excellence in all we do rather than focus on perfection;
  • give our self permission to fail so we may learn and become better at what we do;
  • manage our self more skilfully when we’re feeling weaker and more vulnerable;
  • push hard when we are feeling confident and strong.

Strength- meeting life’s challenges

Our strength is not in perfection. Rather it is in noticing where we are right now and learning how to meet life’s challenges wherever we are: in our self- confidence, shyness, fearfulness, joyousness, doubtfulness, excitement and all the emotions that we feel.

Surely life success is about understanding that ebb and flow within the relationship you have with your self and learning to marry that with the vision you have for your life? This requires love, compassion, care, patience, empathy, freedom, imagination, respect, accountability, giving your self a break and so much more. In short, the qualities for a long and lasting marriage that cultivates the growth in both partners.

Excellence- living an impeccable life

The marriage with your self is a life- long relationship and it is important to strive for excellence in that relationship. So that you may live an impeccable life full of meaning and purpose as well as mistakes and learning, so that you may not be perfect, rather the most excellent version of your self you can become.

Over to you

Do you strive for perfection or excellence? How do you view your relationship with your self? What impact does this have on your life choices? How do you choose to meet life’s challenges and your personal goals? I’d love to hear from you and your experiences of striving towards your life potential.

Why not………..

If you found this article useful and interesting please pass it on to other people you think would be interested and spread the word.  I would really appreciate it.  And if you are new to Potentiality Coaching, why not sign up to the e- mailing list at https://www.potentialitycoaching.co.uk/ and get an e- mail straight to your in box when I post my monthly blog and be first to hear about news, information and insights at Potentiality Coaching.  I’d love to have you be part of the community.

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Time to Recharge?

Finding the things that energise you are important- nature, music, art, creativity. What energises you?

Finding the things that energise you are important- nature, music, art, creativity. What energises you?

‘Sometimes I just want a little time and space to unwind, unplug and recharge’ I often hear people say.  Another common one is ‘I need some quiet time and a place to destress’.

Do you find yourself looking for some time in your schedule when you can relax and rejuvenate? Are you finding that time harder and harder to carve out for yourself? Do you feel that down time is often in front of the TV or resting in a way that makes you more tired and far from recharged?

Rejuvenation

If you find that your rest time is not as rejuvenating as you would like it to be, perhaps it is because it is draining your energy. Resting the body and the mind is not the same as rejuvenating the mind and body. Sometimes the mind needs to relax and unplug- doing exercise or chilling out can be brilliant for that.  Other times, the body needs to recuperate. Sleep, reading a book, watching TV or chatting with friends can be the tonic you want.

Done right, these will all rejuvenate your energy because it is what your system needs right now.  We all need time by the pool or on the beach.  Chilling out in front of the TV can be a good thing. Too much of any of that can leave you feeling more tired and less motivated to do the things you need to live the fulfilling and meaningful life you want and deserve.

Connection

I believe it is about engagement.  Are you truly connecting with the activity you are doing?  Are you sinking into the moment of the experience and allowing that to energise and revitalise you?  Just a moment when you connect with someone across a room can give you all the energy you need.  There is a third dynamic as well as the mind and the body.  That is the energetic quality of your being.  It also requires recharging and is important in energising the body and the mind.  We need to spend time recharging that part of us as well which is often lacking in people’s lives.

I visited an uncle yesterday who has Parkinson’s disease. Often I see him and he is tired, with low energy and disengaged. Yesterday he was animated, sociable and healthy looking. It was a wonderful transformation. When I asked him the reason for the change he said that he had spent some time in the garden.  It is a place that always gives him joy. He pottered around and watched the flowers and the birds and it fed him spiritually.  Not in a religious sense, rather from the point of view of injecting him with vitality, calm and strength. It gave him energy to enjoy the things that matter in his life like family and friends.

For me, nature always has this effect.  I often take trips to the coast and the local countryside to walk and feel the power of nature. It sets me up for the next important step in my life if I feel I need a little pick me up. Others write, some read.  I know people who visit art galleries and museums for the same affect and inspiration.  Something that I have been known to do in the spirit of learning about new things that inspire and invigorate my spirit.

Recharge

The annual holiday is one means to unwind and rejuvenate- and we all need these little sprinkles of joy and reenergising to keep us at the top of our game. And let’s face it- you deserve it! You work and play hard- which may be fulfilling and demands a lot of you. So make sure you make time and space to feed your self spiritually.  Keep those energy levels up for the next step in the adventure.  And because that adventure keeps unfolding, you want to set aside time on a regular basis to keep your self recharged.  You can say you do not have time.  By taking time, by making it important, you will feel the benefit it provides.  Continue to recharge your energy so that you have strength, motivation and inspiration for the entire journey ahead.

It becomes about prioritising.  Life coaching is an excellent vehicle to set aside some time and focus on what is important.  It ensures you can make informed decisions about your life on a daily basis, based on the bigger picture.  So that you can live the meaningful and fulfilling life you want, you want to say “no” to drudgery, tiredness, stagnation, poor health, financial constraints and disharmony and say “yes” to inspiration, vitality, creativity, health, wealth and wellbeing.  Recharging the batteries in a timely and effective way is an important part of that “yes” process.  Try it and see and let me know how you get on.

Over to you

What do you do to rejuvenate and power up? Where do you find the time and space in your life to have those important few minutes when you can recharge? How does making the time for your self feel? I’d love to hear from you and share your ideas and experiences. Who knows…. it may be inspiration for some one else. The tonic they had never thought of to make a huge difference in their life.

Why not………..

If you found this article useful and interesting please pass it on to other people you think would be interested and spread the word.  I would really appreciate it.  And if you are new to Potentiality Coaching, why not sign up to the e- mailing list at https://www.potentialitycoaching.co.uk/ and get an e- mail straight to your in box when I post my monthly blog and be first to hear about news, information and insights at Potentiality Coaching.  I’d love to have you be part of the community.

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Do you lose your Focus & Confidence?

Confidence & focus can ebb & flow in life- how can you get it back?

Confidence & focus can ebb & flow in life- how can you get it back?

Have you noticed that some days you are flying high? As a consequence,  everything you do is ‘on purpose’, feels directed and meaningful?

Then other days you are not quite on it? You get side- tracked by other things and your day runs away with you? Therefore, you feel less directed towards what is meaningful and ‘on purpose’ for you.

 

And sometimes your heart just isn’t in the game.  On those days your mind won’t focus on what is really important to do at that time.

On days like these it feels like you have taken two steps forward only to find you are right back where you started? Isn’t that right?

First of all, let me tell you this is not the case. If you have made strides forwards towards your goals those steps can never be lost or taken back. How you are feeling in this moment may be very different to yesterday or even this morning, but that does not mean you have taken a back step. You feel different is all!  There is learning and growing in managing that shift with skill and compassion.

These shifts in our feelings as a human creature can be seen most clearly in sport. I am a fan of tennis and I marvel how the tide of a match can be so firmly with one player. They cannot put a foot wrong……. and then something switches. Suddenly the ball starts going long or wide, it erodes the player’s confidence and then the other player is in control and dictating the match. You see it in both individual sports and team sports.

Focus and Confidence

So here are some tips for those days or moments when you are ‘off your stroke’ or just not ‘feeling’ it:

1. Remember what to focus on and focus on it. It is easy to get caught up in what is NOT working rather than focusing on your life purpose or your specific goal or target.  Consequently, issues must be addressed and can be in the context of your bigger plan.

2. Stick to the basics. You know what works. Go with what you know to be effective. Very often the simple stuff gets forgotten in the larger plan. If you are new to an arena then learn the basics and keep doing them.

3. It’s not about perfection. It’s about excellence. Be as excellent as you can be today and may be recruit assistance if you feel you need it. Feeling a little low or under par is normal for all of us at times. Consistently striving for excellence means your base line performance rises over time. Perhaps building a team of people around you can off- set these inevitable times.

4. You’re having a bad day? May be look at that? Take a look at why you are feeling what you’re feeling?  You may find learning in that.  As a result, that may be the inspiration for your next step forward.

5. Breath deep and take stock. Reflect and review and see if you have missed something. Did you prepare well enough? Is there something going on at home that you cannot shake? Is there an health issue? Be honest with your self and address with compassion whatever comes up.

6. Always keep learning. One of the sayings from a great martial arts teacher was ‘You are always training for the fight you cannot win yet.’ There is always a situation that is too challenging for you to deal with in an excellent manner. Great! There is more to learn and experience to gather. It will continually make you better at what you are dedicated to.

7. You have come so far. Look back at where you were 6 months ago, a year. If you keep a diary or journal, look back at the hard times of the past or simply reflect on where you were and understand you have grown so much. There is always further to go, more to learn, more potential to uncover and realise.

Over to you

What do you do if you are having a difficult day? How do you shake it off and rally your self? Do you let your self run with the funk or do you carry on regardless? I’d love to hear from you and build a resource of on- line wisdom that allows people to tap in to their true potential.

Why not………..

If you found this article useful and interesting please pass it on to other people you think would be interested and spread the word.  I would really appreciate it.  And if you are new to Potentiality Coaching, why not sign up to the e- mailing list at https://www.potentialitycoaching.co.uk/ .  When you do, you’ll get an e- mail straight to your in box when I post my monthly blog and be first to hear about news, information and insights at Potentiality Coaching.  I’d love to have you be part of the community.

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When Inspiration Strikes

"Passive Thinking" not only taps into the creative mind, but also allows for deeper subconscious thoughts and feelings to surface

“Passive Thinking” not only taps into the creative mind, but also allows for deeper subconscious thoughts and feelings to surface

I don’t know about you, but I find sometimes that I am so busy doing stuff- the next appointment, the next trip, the list of chores- that I give myself no time to sit back and look at my life and ask the question: where am I going and how am I getting there?

We live in a society of rushing and frenetic activity.  More often than not you may feel guilty for stepping out of the race.  This may include taking time to enjoy the view, to contemplate and reflect. You may feel you are not doing enough unless you are active in mind and body.

In spite of all this activity, it can still feel like you are not moving towards that fulfilling life.  If indeed you know what that fulfilling life may look like.

A little less action and more reflection

Action is important. Without it, nothing gets done. And yet, if not done in reference to a bigger picture, a greater context, a larger goal, you may do much and achieve a lot and still feel like you are treading water rather than moving forward along the river of life.  Quiet contemplation can give you the space to think in this larger context. Sure, meditation can be a great way to have time and space to allow new ideas and inspiration to bubble to the surface. There are other means of allowing that:

  • journaling is wonderful for jotting down ideas and reflections;
  • movies, documentaries, music, art and literature can offer ideas that spring board you into new creative directions;
  • walk in nature gives space for more open thinking;
  • good conversation with someone to bounce ideas off can be inspirational;
  • a spa day;
  • a retreat;
  • a holiday;
  • a day trip.

Noticing Inspiration

So you have a three stage process: the inspiration, the planning and the action- here I am talking about creating the opportunities for noticing that inspiration. I believe that inspiration is bubbling away beneath the surface of the mind- you just need the time and space to notice it and hear it. There is the “active thinking” of planning and working out the plan.  There is the opportunity for “passive thinking” which also has great value.  For as well as tapping into the creative side of the mind, it allows for deeper subconscious thoughts and feelings to come to the surface.  These are often the forces that bring us most joy yet we work in conflict with them because we do not give ourselves the opportunity to reflect on them and allow them time and space to grow and develop.

Coaching using the co- active model can offer that opportunity.  In coaching there is the chance to find that inspiration.  You can work out how to use it to drive your life in a fulfilling and meaningful way.  Towards greater personal and professional potential.

Over to you

What place does inspiration have in your life? How does it drive your goals and habits? How do you set time aside for creating space and allowing inspiration? What methods of contemplation and reflection work for you and what hasn’t worked? I’d love to hear from you. Please share your experiences and offer support and inspiration to other people in our community.

Why not………..

If you found this article useful and interesting please pass it on to other people you think would be interested and spread the word.  I would really appreciate it.  And if you are new to Potentiality Coaching, why not sign up to the e- mailing list at https://www.potentialitycoaching.co.uk/ and get an e- mail straight to your in box when I post my monthly blog and be first to hear about news, information and insights at Potentiality Coaching.  I’d love to have you be part of the community.

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