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Do you find your self limited by old ways of thinking? Are you frustrated by getting the same results time and again?  Do you hold on to old ways of thinking that do not work? Would you challenge an old perspective?  Do you notice your self blaming others for the undesired results you get?

Do you come at challenges from the same direction? Can you change how you look at things so that you see them with fresh eyes and have different outcomes? Do you get bored with your career, relationships and perhaps even your self? Are you fed up with walking the same path?

Perhaps you need to challenge your thinking? May be what you bring to the table is contributing to the frustration? What if you were to look at the situation from another perspective? What if you could see a situation like a child, without boundaries, limitations or blinkered thinking?

Ritual Action

Without boundaries there is no need for limited perspectives, just the freedom to move and think as you choose

Without boundaries there is no need for limited perspectives, just the freedom to move and think as you choose

I came across this gate without fencing on either side of it in an open field while walking in Cambridgeshire.  It looked so strange in its place that I had to take a picture ( the wonders of modern technology).

Clearly at some point it had marked an access across a boundary. Now that boundary had gone and the gate was obsolete. I walked through it as a homage to old ways of thinking and ideas.

That ritual got me thinking about our entrenched ways of looking at life in general and at specific situations in particular. If we could break down the boundaries we wouldn’t then be forced to enter a situation from a given viewpoint.  Without boundaries there would be no need for a limited perspective, just the freedom to move and think as you choose.

Altering perspective

Let me share two examples in my life. I have a relationship with my bank that until recently has driven me mad with frustration. Every interaction I had with them from withdrawing money at ATMs, to speaking with staff or even internet banking left me agitated as I struggled with PINs, passwords and seemingly endless bureaucracy. One day I had the thought “Perhaps it’s me?”  When I complained about the bank to others, no one else seemed to have a problem.

I vowed to enter into interactions with the bank from then on with a new perspective and low and behold I have not had a frustration with them since. The boundaries I had created forced me to walk into any interaction with the bank through a certain gate- let’s call it “The Frustration Gate”. Once I dissolved away the boundaries there was no need to walk through “The Frustration Gate” any more.  I was free to interact with the bank openly and without feeling disempowered.

My second example goes much further back. My memories of childhood had overwhelmingly been very sad. I looked back at childhood with a dark veil over it and I imagined myself a victim and totally without power. Challenging that mind set has been liberating, allowing me to see that a few terrible situations had coloured my vision of my entire childhood. A sad yet avoidable truth. It has taken work which is on- going and now I see my childhood memories with so much more colour. Perhaps some boundaries are gone? Perhaps there are more gates now to the boundaries that remain? Who knows. What I do know is something is shifting, bringing joy and light into my life that wasn’t there before. That can only be a good thing.

Transformation and Freedom

So if you find your self endlessly meeting frustration and disappointment in life, perhaps there is more you can do than you realise? What can you do to challenge your old thinking? Can you create “gates” that bring new perspectives? What can you do to remove boundaries? Have a brainstorming session and see if there could be other ways to look at the situation? Talk with friends and colleagues about the way you see things?

As a life coach I see people’s lives transformed just by viewing old scenarios from another perspective, giving clients power, choice and the freedom to create the life they truly want for themselves.  When I teach I witness students’ horizons broaden with every new perspective they create for themselves.  As a leader I observe people stepping beyond the limited boundaries of their old perceptions and explore new territory that brings new challenges, growth and self- appreciation.

Over to you

I’d love to hear about your experiences of overcoming old ways of thinking and how that has empowered you towards choice and freedom. Please share your frustrations and successes so that we can build a resource on this website that people can come to for education, inspiration and find the ways to live their lives from their fullest potential.

Why not………..

If you found this article useful and interesting please pass it on to other people you think would be interested and spread the word.  I would really appreciate it.  And if you are new to Potentiality Coaching, why not sign up to the e- mailing list at https://www.potentialitycoaching.co.uk/ and get an e- mail straight to your in box when I post my monthly blog and be first to hear about news, information and insights at Potentiality Coaching.  I’d love to have you be part of the community.

Life Balance is the art of keeping all the elements of your life in harmony

Life Balance is the art of keeping all the elements of your life in harmony

Life balance is an issue that will affect every area of your life throughout your life.  Do these scenarios sound familiar?

  • You work all the hours possible to be able to afford the opportunities your children deserve in life because you love them.  In doing so you rarely see them.  You do not have the relationship with them you would like
  • Are you running around from commitment to commitment, stressing out as you juggle your time between work, family, friends and DIY which means you are not sleeping well, eating well or having relaxing downtime
  • Are you feeling the pressure of keeping up appearances?  Do you live beyond your means, living the life of Riley without a sustainable income?

If so, there is an issue of life balance that you may wish to address. Focusing on certain areas can leave other parts of your life neglected and unfulfilled.

Only by taking a broad over- view can you begin to address the issues>  Then this will bring contentment, empowerment and vitality to every area of your life.

The Wheel of Life

A great coaching tool that can help with Life Balance is “The Wheel of Life”. Picture a wheel that is divided into sections. Each section represents an area of your life. You will choose the ones that are most relevant to you.  Some areas you might want to consider are:

  • career
  • family
  • your spouse/ partner
  • health, fitness
  • religion
  • finances
  • charity work
  • friends
  • a spiritual path
  • work in your community

You want all these sections to be strong within themselves.  Ideally, they will be in harmony with each other, giving you confidence, trust and belief in yourself and in life itself.

Working with “The Wheel of Life” highlights the areas where you want to bring your life into greater balance and harmony.

Values and beliefs

You build your reality- your thoughts drive the energy of your being.  How you approach any sphere of your life is centred around your thinking.  This in turn is shaped by your core values and beliefs.

Life success is achieved by working with values and beliefs that work well together.  They work for you so that you can achieve your goals.  You might be thinking this is obvious. You would be right, but time and again, I see how people struggle when they do not understand how the power of their thinking profoundly affects their life.

Life Balance

Let me give you an example. One of earliest clients was Peter (not his real name). He was struggling with his life situation since his divorce.  He wanted to improve things for the benefit of himself and his son.

Peter took on a Psychology degree to improve his earning potential.  He had part time work and a third storey bed- sit, the cheapest accommodation he could find, to make ends meet. He was getting D and E grades, missing classes, working long hours.  How was he to find the quality time with his son he wanted? Peter was trying to get all the elements of his life to work together.  That could not happen without the life balance to bring them into harmony.

He and I worked together for a month, just one hour a week.  We identified elements of his thinking that created barriers to achieving the life he really wanted to live. By the end, he was getting A and B grades.  He found new work that paid better for less hours and a ground floor apartment with a garden that was ideal living space for his son to come and stay and enjoy their time together.  The broad over- view “The Wheel of Life” offered allowed Peter to see what needed to be addressed.  He found the inner wisdom to discover how to address it instilling trust and belief in himself and his ability to tackle life’s challenging situations.

Is it time for you to take control?

Do you want to develop a sense of balance that comes from understanding your motivations and leads to excitement and fulfillment in all aspects of your life?

If it is, then I invite you to use the suggestions in this article and begin to take control and live the life you want to live.

Why not………..

If you found this article useful and interesting please pass it on to other people you think would be interested and spread the word.  I would really appreciate it.  And if you are new to Potentiality Coaching, why not sign up to the e- mailing list at https://www.potentialitycoaching.co.uk/ and get an e- mail straight to your in box when I post my monthly blog and be first to hear about news, information and insights at Potentiality Coaching.  I’d love to have you be part of the community.