Christmas- celebrating the Light of the Human Spirit

The Festival of Light

What do Christmas, Hanukah and Diwali mean to you? Are they purely a time off work or do they have a deeper message? What messages, lessons and ideas can you take from Christmas, Hanukah and Diwali into the rest of the year?

This is the time of The Festivals of Light. Christmas, Hanukah and Diwali are all religious celebrations commemorating the Light of the Human spirit. Candles and fireworks are lit to remind us that hope, forgiveness and kindness are human traits to celebrate and practice for the benefit of others as well as ourselves.

Candles and fireworks are lit to remind us that hope, forgiveness and kindness are human traits to celebrate

The symbol of Light in this way is prevalent across the world and throughout time. It is a universal image to which all people relate. Fire has been used for millennia to accompany sacred ceremonies and mark sacred time and space. This fire can represent the divine, that universal force that creates all and, it can illustrate the indomitable spirit within each of us, which marks our uniqueness and our collective humanity. The human spirit is a flame that can be neglected, ignored and covered over. It can also be nurtured, nourished and fanned to create a blaze. The various Festivals of Light are a reminder that we need to cultivate this Light within. I believe people are naturally born with this flame inside them. It holds their Light, uniqueness, innate talents and skills that can be shared with the world.

The Light of the Human Spirit

When we are born, we possess a presence and power that radiates out. Babies light up rooms and bring smiles to people’s faces. Young children are open and free with their emotions, laughing one moment, crying the next, then all smiles seconds later. They show confidence in expressing spontaneous behaviour, sharing unsolicited thoughts and being their authentic selves. This unhampered Light shines as children play, learn and express their love.

Things can happen to cover this Light. By being made to feel wrong for expressing emotions and certain behaviours, by not being supported and encouraged, by denying feelings and longings that are deemed inappropriate, through abuse, neglect and so much more, this Light becomes dimmed and fails to shine in the world with the clarity and brightness that it did in a person’s youth.

This process can start young or later in life. For the person concerned it feels like a void, a gap, even a deadness inside that is filled with pain and a yearning to be given a voice and take action. To the outside world, it might appear as a lack of confidence or commitment, apathy, even indifference. To them it feels frustrating, exasperating and ignites a desire for change. Regardless of how it appears internally or externally, this Light still burns furiously within. It needs uncovering, oxygen and nurturing. Done consistently, we can shine brighter, burn stronger, share our Light more fully and embrace the joy of doing and being that more completely.

Uncovering the Light

How do we start the process of uncovering the flame that burns within so that we can feel fulfilled and live with meaning and purpose? There is the journey of uncovering the things of the past that stifle the flame. And there are the things that happen in the present that if left unchallenged can further diminish our Light. We can learn strategies to uncover the things of the past and the present. This in turn improves our resilience so that we are better able to face life’s challenges. There are lots of ways you can explore these strategies. Coaching is one such method in which you focus on your goals for the future and explore your habits and beliefs and ways of being that prevent you from achieving those goals. Here are some areas that might be powerful for you to explore:

  1. Mind sets supportive to your success. Very often you learn scripts from the past that actually undermine you. These scripts can stop you stepping into your best self. Scripts such as “not good enough”, “not deserving” and “I’m a perfectionist” can be self- limiting beliefs that stop your growth in important areas of your life. By challenging these old beliefs and finding new scripts that are supportive to becoming the person you want to become, you can update your inner landscape so that you can step into new roles and new ways of being. This acts as fuel for your inner Light.
  2. Living in line with what is most important to you. You probably have areas in your life that you are very keen to protect. Perhaps it is time with the kids, your workout schedule or commitment to your career.  You set these boundaries up to make sure things do not encroach on them. You might even think of them as sacred. Yet there will also be areas where you are less robust in maintaining your boundaries and your life suffers accordingly. You might not be consistent with your eating or exercise habits. You might say you’ll do something when you have the time rather than making time to do it. By living your values you make a statement to yourself and others that what is important to you matters. This really nurtures the inner flame.
  3. Self care. So many people put others first. They do it so much sometimes that they wear themselves out, making themselves ill. Alternatively, people are all for themselves. They are number one and no one else gets a look in unless it serves them to think of others as well. This idea of self- care is a delicate balance. To get it right you can think of it as caring for yourself SO THAT you can care for others. If you are someone’s long- term carer, it is important that you get a chance to recuperate and rejuvenate yourself from time to time. You can’t keep giving endlessly. If you do you might become tired, frustrated and even resentful. You have to take from somewhere so that you can continue to give where you choose to give. So many people feel guilty about this, as if to say “I don’t deserve it” or “I don’t have the time”. If you continue this way you will dim your inner Light even though it is your pleasure to give and share. The Light needs fueling. Self- care recharges the battery.
  4. Mindfulness and awareness. Sticking your head in the sand and not dealing with things that are instrumental to your growth are sure ways to stifle your inner flame. However challenging these things might be to confront, it is harder to deal with them the longer you leave them and the more painful they are when you finally feel them. Unresolved emotions have a way of surfacing in a destructive and unsupportive manner. Deal with them on your terms and they can be voiced in a healthy and healing way. This takes awareness in the moment. It will take practice if you are not used to being this way. Like all new habits, it takes some time before it becomes easier. It is worth the investment. As you lighten the burden of undisclosed feelings, your Light burns brighter and makes you stronger.
  5. Reflection and Contemplation. Life can be a relentless journey. You can move from one event to another and never take the time to reflect or consider what you have learned, what could be different and how things might change. Perhaps you are so focused on what is coming up you don’t take the time to enjoy the event you’re in? You also might not think about events in the future either or how you might want your future to look. By considering these things with reference to your sense of what is right for you and where and who you want to be, you can fan the flames of your inner Light, orienting your life towards values- driven goals.
  6. Inner Council. You have so many qualities and aspects of your character that can be developed and discovered. You can learn to embrace and cultivate these innate talents, broadening and deepening your range to make you a more fulfilled and purpose- focused individual. Noticing how people you admire and respect achieve their great success can inspire you to tap into those aspects of yourself, allowing you to make those qualities your own and enjoy success in the way that is most fulfilling to you. Another way to access your inner council is to work with your archetypes. Clients on the Mindful Movement courses and VIP coaching days with me work closely with these ideas.
  7. Whatever you achieve in life, you do so with the help of others. To surround yourself with people who will support and nurture you in your endeavours is an essential part of life success. Where you might notice you lack certain qualities, there may be no need to cultivate those skills yourself. Instead, find the people that fill that space. Whilst you might need to learn new things these may not be your passions. Work to your joys and strengths. Life can be a rich tapestry and a variety of friends, colleagues and associates can serve your growth, fulfillment and purpose a tremendous amount. True friends and other people you can trust bring more flames together to create a raging fire and allow you to enjoy confidence, support and faith in the human spirit.

As we approach this season of Light, please remember to nourish this inner flame. Be aware of it for yourself. Also be aware of it for others. Be an advocate of nurturing this inner Light for all. This applies throughout the year, not just for the weeks around these festivals. The human spirit shines eternal. The more you care for yourself and others the more empowered you are and give people permission to be empowered. I believe this is the message of the Festivals of Light. An eternal and universal message that you can carry in your heart all year and apply to every moment of your life.

Over to you

How do you view Christmas, Hanukah and Diwali? How do they influence your thinking and behaviour through the year? Have you ever thought of the metaphor of the flame representing the human spirit? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please share them in the comment box at the bottom of the page.

Pass it on

If you know someone who might find this article useful or interesting, please send it to them by e- mail or through social media. I’d really appreciate your spreading the word. Have a great Christmas and New Year. I look forward to connecting in 2018.

Self- Growth, Realising your Potential and Building Confidence

Like all life you start your existence as a seed in fertile soil, full of potential that may, or may not, be realised

How do you know what you are capable of? What qualities do you possess that lie within you unnoticed and unfulfilled? How are you going to discover these hidden talents? How will these talents manifest in your life? What difference will they make to your quality of life?  How will they affect your confidence?  Finally, what does personal growth look like to you?

Seeds of Confidence

Like all life you start your existence as a seed in fertile soil, full of potential that may, or may not, be realised. It is only through life situations that you discover your talents and so grow in confidence. Some you are placed in by chance and others by design. That design can be your own or others.

By chance or design these situations shape you, drawing out skills, qualities and talents that drive you forward, see you grow and make a contribution to the world. Both play an important role in ensuring your growth and improving your confidence.

Growth by Design

Firstly, it is in design that you take control of your growth. By placing yourself in the path of mentors, teachers and guides you are introduced to new things, made aware of previously unseen skills and encouraged and inspired to step out of your comfort zone and grow as an individual.

Therefore, I am constantly seeking support from people who can teach me to grow my business, show me new skills to cultivate myself and ways in which to help others. Life is a never- ending classroom that can lead to on- going growth and development of that seed into something magnificent.

There is also self- directed growth. Learning does not need only come from outside of you. It can also come from within. Through exploring a subject you can get beyond text books, courses and external teaching and begin the process of innovation, integration and development. Your unique journey gives you a unique view on all of life.  As a result, will you bring that unique vision to life and share it with the world, your community or family? Would you walk the path less travelled and forge a way forward that creates something new for you as well as the world around you?  Can you purposefully step into the unknown and discover what lies in the void?

Growth by Chance

Nevertheless, in amongst all of this design there is the chaos of chance. New and unexpected events, opportunities and learning will come your way that contribute to your growth. Some of it will be painful, much of it exciting and inspiring. This is the nature of growth. Only by putting yourself in the charge of guides and stepping out and creating your place in the world will you grow and open yourself up to chance and chaos.  The opportunity for growth, on- going development and fulfillment will follow.

How will you know which direction to go? You can take the advice of other people who have experience in the areas you wish to develop.  You can also follow your Intuition.  This means asking “What are you drawn to?” and ” What do you get the sense you are inspired to do?”  For years I have had a sense that I am drawn to help people discover their life- purpose.  At one time that looked like running a martial arts business.  I helped people with their self- confidence and trust in their own ability and intuition.  More recently, that has developed to include life coaching.

Chance and Design

I never expected my previous career in science to come in any use once I walked away from biochemistry and neuroscience.  Now I am drawn to using that expertise in helping people with finding their life- purpose as well.  I am currently exploring meditation and seeing how that can be incorporated into movement.  Together they help combat stress, tension and encourage relaxation, self- expression and creativity.  These are all key elements in living your life- purpose.  The journey unfolds one step at a time and help and support comes in many guises, both internal and external.

Consequently, many of my clients are taking the steps towards living with greater fulfillment. By a combination of trusting their own intuition, creativity and resourcefulness they become empowered to follow their life- purpose and reach out for whatever help and support will get them there.  By living in- line with your life- purpose you ensure continual growth and fulfillment.  See yourself flourish and thrive in such a positive and empowering environment and grow from a seed into a beautiful, healthy and vibrant plant: strong in its foundations; fruitful in its creativity and furthermore; unique in its shape and expression.

Over to you

What is your experience of growth? How do you live your life- purpose?  How do you continue to grow?  I’d love to hear your comments and offer inspiration for people who are travelling a similar road.

Pass it on

If you know someone who would enjoy this blog and find it useful why not send them the link? I’d really appreciate it.  May be they will as well?  If you’d like to receive a direct link to the Potentiality Coaching monthly blog into your in- box, why not sign up here and receive a free e- course on Confidence as well?


The Journey of Life

Without a distant view of the horizon, it is impossible to keep moving your life forward in the right direction & have the patience & perseverance to reach that destination

Without a distant view of the horizon, it is impossible to keep moving your life forward in the right direction & have the patience & perseverance to reach your destination

Life is a long journey, we hope. Yet, is there a destination?  Do you ever “get there”?  Where is “there” for you?  Is it that house, retirement, that special person, a car, a certain salary or a spot on the career ladder?  Is it peace of mind?  Whatever it is, it is a larger purpose that drives you and informs many of your choices in life until you reach those distant goals.  You will deny your self of other things so that you can achieve your goals.  As a life coach, I am drawn to ask clients these questions, for it is at the root of these that fulfilment is lived on a day to day basis. It is these fundamental questions that drive you along the long journey of life.

I was reading a National Geographic article when it struck me that we share these driving urges and qualities with the animal kingdom. This article was discussing long distance migrations and the qualities animals show to achieve those long term goals. The main one we share is the ability to defer short term gratification for long term gain. Without that distant view of the horizon, it is impossible to keep moving forward in the right direction and have the patience and perseverance to reach that destination- all essential qualities to achieve any long term goals.

Making goals a values- based choice

The context you create sets the tone of your journey- will it be one of slogging your guts out or will it be joyful? Will it be work centred?   Will it be friends and family centred? For each step along the way to be fulfilling, you require a clear context around the qualities that are most important to you- in coaching speak, these are called values.

A house holds no importance in and of itself. It is the value- systems you place upon it that gives it significance. Is it an investment? It is a retirement fund? Is it a home, a place to rest or a place to share with family and friends? Therefore, whatever you decide, it is based upon the things that are important to you and it is in serving those important things that makes the house significant. And so it is with the long journey of life. Whatever those distant goals and final destination, it is how you have honoured what is important to you that makes life fulfilling.

Why goals are important

It is important to have destinations, goals that give you a focus and direction. Without them you would go nowhere, achieve nothing and life would be boring and dull. And yet, in all the goals you have set for your self, when did the path to that destination go smoothly? When did it ever run as you expected it to? The answer is probably rarely, if ever. That is certainly true for me.

Migrating animals will overcome huge geographical and physical challenges to reach their chosen destination. So too will you, especially when you set your goals so far in the future you cannot truly imagine or conceive of what it really looks and feels like to be there. Setting that destination in the context of your values makes the journey bearable, enjoyable even valuable and will give you the patience and determination to carry on when you may want to give in or become diverted by less important things.

The journey not the destination

The logo for Potentiality Coaching implies this concept. It comes from the Japanese art of Kyudo, The Way of Archery. You are given the target, not to hit it, but to have a reason to fire the arrow. The flight of the arrow is determined by your inner demeanour. How calm are you? What is your state of mind? Are you agitated or are you serene? Do you fire the arrow in anger, in fear, for duty, for love or personal expression? Whatever the reason and motivation, it will come out in the flight of the arrow. How you are being in the world says more about your journey than about your destination. The goals are important, just as the target to the archer is. They set your path. What is most important is how you are when you release the arrow, for that determines how your arrow flies.

The power of congruent living

So on the long journey of life, what is it that you strive for and how are you going about achieving it? Are you working from values that make your life feel fulfilling on a daily basis or does it feel empty? Do you feel listless, frustrated or despondent? Are you joyful, content and deeply fulfilled? In short, the answer to those questions depends on how congruent you are living to your values. If you feel that you are not living more in- line with your values and you are ready to take action so that you can live your life in a more fulfilling way, why not contact me for a free consultation about identifying what is truly important to you and how you can manifest that more in your life?

Over to you

What makes you fulfilled? What is important to you? How do you make sure you keep living with those important things in the centre of your life? What do you do if those values change and you have to re- orient your self? How does changing your goals change your life path? I’d love to hear from you and learn more about what makes life fulfilling.

Pass it on

If you think someone would like the content of this blog and others on the Potentiality Coaching website, why not send them the link or share it on social media?  I would really appreciate it.  And if you are new to Potentiality Coaching, why not sign up to the e- mailing list at and get an e- mail straight to your in box when I post my monthly blog and be first to hear about news, information and insights at Potentiality Coaching.  I’d love to have you be part of the community.

Five steps to Abundance

Choose these steps towards abundance

Choose these steps towards abundance

Do you find your self thinking that there is never enough?  Wonder if you only had more, you’d be able to go on that holiday or get that job done?

Do you need more friends, money, time, hobbies………..? This is the lack mind- set. Energetically, the power lies in the future. There is no opportunity to get traction in the present in this mind- set and so no energy to make things happen. I have been in this way of thinking in my life and it feels so challenging, as if there is nothing that can be done. It can even get desperate. The energy for life is slowing down and it runs the risk of stagnation. It may already have stagnated.

How do you turn it around? There is so much abundance in the world. If you cannot see it, your perspective is closing your mind to the possibilities. Let’s explore this perspective and start small and work up.

Steps toward abundance

When I get into the mind- set of lack I start the shift by thinking about the abundant air. Every breath I’ve taken since birth has never lacked sufficient oxygen to sustain me. Then I think of people- the friends, family, work and business colleagues and contacts I do have, as well as the countless strangers that could become friends by simply reaching out. I move on to information after that- there are so many resources both on- and off- line to tap into, much of it free, offering courses, groups, support and knowledge to give you what you need for the next step in your life. Opportunity is next on my list- life is full of so much possibility.

The lack mind- set entices you to shrink away from opportunity. The abundant perspective has you trying new things, taking chances and capitalising on opportunities as they present themselves. Go search for them and take the ones that serve you best.

Abundance is seeing what is available and possible and having seen that potential, taking action to take advantage. This is how I see abundance with money. There is so much money in the world and the  opportunity to earn money the way you want to. It takes effort on your part and the first effort is consistently having that abundance mind- set.

Be realistic

When working on this, make sure your statements of abundance are accurate. Do not make unreal and idle statements. Being grateful for what you have often makes you realise how abundant your life truly is and that is a great way to start. Get traction from where you are, see the abundance and positive in your life right now and use this exercise in abundance mind- set to get the energy of your mind flowing towards letting abundance in and transform your life into something fertile, beautiful and abundantly magic.

Over to you

Come on over to the comments box and offer your experience of abundance and how you have moved out of the lack mind- set.  We cannot tap into our full potential of we think small, so how do you think positive so that you flip it around?  I’d love to hear from you.

Pass it on

If you think someone would like the content of this blog and others on the Potentiality Coaching website, why not send them the link or share it on social media?  I would really appreciate it.  And if you are new to Potentiality Coaching, why not sign up to the e- mailing list at and get an e- mail straight to your in box when I post my monthly blog and be first to hear about news, information and insights at Potentiality Coaching.  I’d love to have you be part of the community.

Being and Doing

Being differently leads to behaving and living in a new way

Being differently leads to behaving and living in a new way

Deep powerful coaching is about evoking transformation. This is personal growth. It’s about doing things differently and being differently.

Doing differently leads to being differently. The converse is true too. Being differently leads to doing differently.

Being is a physical, emotional and energetic process that means you interact with the world in a certain way. What you do is driven by your state of being. What you do enforces your state of being.

Evoking transformation

Coaching works best when you have a willing client who is keen to evoke transformation in their lives. Usually that looks like doing things differently. By working with the client to bring about awareness of their values and beliefs, they are in a position to honour and challenge those thoughts consciously. Your state of being is fluid and you can take conscious control of that state so that you can do things differently in your life.

An American Indian Tale

There is the story of the man who found an abandoned eagle chick. He took it home and put it with his chickens to nurture it. The eagle grew up in the company of chickens and believed him self to be a chicken. Even though he looked different, he behaved as the chickens did. He pecked at seeds on the ground, he did not fly. He was content. Then one day he saw another eagle flying high above the coup and wondered how wonderful it would be to fly so high and free.

While the eagle was being a chicken in his heart and mind, that is what he would be and what he would do. He would need to change his perceptions of him self before he would be able to realise the potential that lay dormant inside him. And this is the key point. He had the potential.

What would Muhammad Ali say?

There is a school of thought I subscribe to that says that if you can conceive of a thing you can make it manifest in your life. The Brand New Heavies song You are the Universe advocates such a mind set.  Anything you conceive of you can achieve. Will you do all that it takes to make it real?

‘I am the greatest. I said this even before I knew I was.’ Muhammad Ali

Muhammad Ali spent years saying he was the greatest and proved it to the world early in his career. He was being the greatest long before he was. And once he became the greatest boxer he also became a phenomenal spokesperson for a generation and a nation.

What do you long for? How can you create the being state that allows you to manifest that truth in the world when you put your heart and soul into it? Even Muhammad Ali had a coach. He had to do the work, want it enough and it started for him by believing he was the greatest. He believed it authentically. What do you believe authentically that would be the highest version of your self? What mind- set can you create that means you achieve the goals you want in the manner you desire?

As promised…….

Last month I spoke about bringing awareness to a client’s inner being so that she could make choice about how to move forward. I promised to share the outcome. Remaining mindful of her chosen state of being, she was able to act from this place and achieve more powerful win- win interactions. With confidence and calm she was able to face all the challenges she met and come out of it with grace and integrity. Well done to her and thank you for allowing me to share your story so that I could share the power and strength of being.

Over to you

How has inner transformation changed your life?  What have you done differently that has made a powerful internal change?  How has thinking differently given you permission to act in a different way?  Gratitude is a huge change of state in being for me and it has altered the way I approach people and situations.  How has it affected you.

Next time

Continuing on this theme, next month I will be looking at the affect “lack” and “abundance” mind- sets have on our lives and the steps we can take to move towards greater abundance.

Why not………..

If you found this article useful and interesting please pass it on to other people you think would be interested and spread the word.  I would really appreciate it.  And if you are new to Potentiality Coaching, why not sign up to the e- mailing list at and get an e- mail straight to your in box when I post my monthly blog and be first to hear about news, information and insights at Potentiality Coaching.  I’d love to have you be part of the community.

The Power of Metaphor

The subconscious mind processes and expresses things very differently to the conscious mind

The subconscious mind processes and expresses things very differently to the conscious mind

Metaphor can be a powerful coaching tool.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation in which you can’t see a way out? When you talk about it your reasoning goes round and round in circles and there is no solution? Do you feel in those scenarios you cannot change things?  That if only this person or that person would just change or see things differently.

I recently had a client struggling with just that situation.  In the true co- active coaching style we co- created a way forward.  It started by painting a picture in words, based on feelings, perceptions and perspectives.

As a client in coaching, it is easy to get caught up in telling the story. This can be useful to set context.  Very quickly it can turn in to a retelling of old thoughts and past actions. For the coach this story can be intriguing but not in a way that serves the client. Instead together, coach and client can co- create a way through to greater insight and understanding, perhaps to resolution, but this is not necessary. With enough insight, the client can work it out without the coach, empowering them towards greater self- assurance and growth.

A client’s experience of metaphor

This client is an Aikido exponent. I asked her “What would this situation look like in an Aikido context?” She explained being held on the floor, pinned in the back by someone’s knee. It was painful. This person holding her down was scared, trying to stop her getting to a third person. She was frustrated, unheard. This third person was stood a little way off, confused.

This gave her powerful insight into the dynamics of the three- way relationship.

I asked her, ”What would you do in Aikido to get out of this?” She said she would relax. Instantly, the situation shifted to her being released.  She was able to sit with the man holding her down on an even level. Able to relate and communicate. Less fear and frustration were around though the third person was still confused.

From here the client knew which ways she could go to work through this situation.  Therefore she could resolve it for a three way win. The power of visualising a situation gave her a sub- conscious, instinctive perspective on a situation.  Her conscious mind had only seen as full of conflict, frustration and fear.

Sometimes, a more intuitive answer is best.  A great way to access that wisdom is through using simile and metaphor. When you next find yourself in a similar scenario, try it your self, alone, with a friend or with a coach.  See what insights and revelations you discover.

Next time

And if you would to know how it worked out for this client, I will share with you in next month’s blog the power of “being” and how it differs from the power of “doing”.

Over to you

Until then, please share your thoughts, ideas and experiences about this idea of simile and metaphor. How has it helped you in the past get insight? How has this blog or the comments at the bottom of the page helped in any way?  Have you struggled working with metaphor?  Do you have another method that works better for you?  I’d love to hear from you.

Why not………..

If you found this article useful and interesting please pass it on to other people you think would be interested and spread the word.  I would really appreciate it.  And if you are new to Potentiality Coaching, why not sign up to the e- mailing list at and get an e- mail straight to your in box when I post my monthly blog and be first to hear about news, information and insights at Potentiality Coaching.  I’d love to have you be part of the community.

How to make the dream happen?


Sometimes I wonder how I’m going to achieve what I have dreamed.  How am I going to realise the vision?  I worry about finding the money, creating the opportunities to bring my vision into reality. How am I going to generate the networks? How can I build the audience that loves my message and wants to benefit from what I have to share? Do you find your self posing these questions about your own journey? If so, please read on as this may be useful to you.

Know your “Why?”

Simon Sinek talks about the three circles of how leaders inspire action: ‘why’, ‘what’ and ‘how’. As passionate creators who want to make a difference, people with a message get what Ben Tristem calls ‘mad how’s disease’. We obsess about how we are going to achieve our goals.  Without deeply considering the ‘why’ and the ‘what’.  These are the source of our drive and the manner in which we share it with the world. I have spent years working out my ‘why’ and my ‘what’. I want to know ‘HOW!’

For those of you interested, my ‘why’ is simply to bring people to their fullest potential.  The on- going process of growth and development that keeps driving people to ask ‘Is there more to life and my self than this?’ Through embodiment, mental and physical awareness (both rational and intuitive) as well as a connection to your soul I believe you travel on an unending spiral of maturity and understanding that brings you closer to your answer to this question. This has driven me on my journey to connect with the mysteries of life.  It has led me to encourage others through one- on- one sessions, workshops and weekend retreats.

When the way forward isn’t clear

Recently, in a state of frustration over how we are ever going to achieve our master plans, I committed Emma (my partner) and I to a Sunday afternoon brainstorming session. Bravely we stuck at it for a while.  We got progressively more despondent and bogged down in facts and details without any flashes of inspiration.  Nor did we have the lightness that so often comes with sessions such as these.  In the end it was Emma who said ‘Perhaps we just have to hold the vision in our minds.  May be that is enough for now until things become clearer?’ Instantly, the weight lifted and the joy of our lives’ works returned.

In her flash of insight she made me realise that the ‘how’ comes in stages and often in unexpected ways. The journey is convoluted, making it exciting, frustrating, educational, inspiring, insightful and so much more at different times. To know the whole plan is an illusion or the insistent delusion of a control freak. To hold the plan gently and consistently in the mind keeps the intuition awake for any possibilities.  The mind can work with these to create action and results in the knowledge that one is in fact far less in control than one imagines.

Creating Vision Boards

One of the spin offs of Emma’s insight was to create a vision board. It is a work in progress.  Every time I look at what is already on the board I am reminded of my commitments, desires and dreams. I notice that I think about the vision more.  I make the connections to that vision when events and opportunities present themselves. The ‘how’ becomes clearer daily as I grow and develop along my ever moving path.

So this blog is a thank you to Emma and her insight which greatly helped me and us both. I hope you are reminded of her wisdom the next time the frustration gets the better of you when you insist on answers more concrete than the present allows. Stay focussed on your dreams, most importantly know your ‘why’, be clear about your ‘what’ and the ‘how’?…… Well, let that unfold.

Why not………..

If you found this article useful and interesting please pass it on to other people you think would be interested and spread the word.  I would really appreciate it.  And if you are new to Potentiality Coaching, why not sign up to the e- mailing list at and get an e- mail straight to your in box when I post my monthly blog and be first to hear about news, information and insights at Potentiality Coaching.  I’d love to have you be part of the community.


Freedom to Choose

Do you find your self limited by old ways of thinking? Are you frustrated by getting the same results time and again?  Do you hold on to old ways of thinking that do not work? Would you challenge an old perspective?  Do you notice your self blaming others for the undesired results you get?

Do you come at challenges from the same direction? Can you change how you look at things so that you see them with fresh eyes and have different outcomes? Do you get bored with your career, relationships and perhaps even your self? Are you fed up with walking the same path?

Perhaps you need to challenge your thinking? May be what you bring to the table is contributing to the frustration? What if you were to look at the situation from another perspective? What if you could see a situation like a child, without boundaries, limitations or blinkered thinking?

Ritual Action

Without boundaries there is no need for limited perspectives, just the freedom to move and think as you choose

Without boundaries there is no need for limited perspectives, just the freedom to move and think as you choose

I came across this gate without fencing on either side of it in an open field while walking in Cambridgeshire.  It looked so strange in its place that I had to take a picture ( the wonders of modern technology).

Clearly at some point it had marked an access across a boundary. Now that boundary had gone and the gate was obsolete. I walked through it as a homage to old ways of thinking and ideas.

That ritual got me thinking about our entrenched ways of looking at life in general and at specific situations in particular. If we could break down the boundaries we wouldn’t then be forced to enter a situation from a given viewpoint.  Without boundaries there would be no need for a limited perspective, just the freedom to move and think as you choose.

Altering perspective

Let me share two examples in my life. I have a relationship with my bank that until recently has driven me mad with frustration. Every interaction I had with them from withdrawing money at ATMs, to speaking with staff or even internet banking left me agitated as I struggled with PINs, passwords and seemingly endless bureaucracy. One day I had the thought “Perhaps it’s me?”  When I complained about the bank to others, no one else seemed to have a problem.

I vowed to enter into interactions with the bank from then on with a new perspective and low and behold I have not had a frustration with them since. The boundaries I had created forced me to walk into any interaction with the bank through a certain gate- let’s call it “The Frustration Gate”. Once I dissolved away the boundaries there was no need to walk through “The Frustration Gate” any more.  I was free to interact with the bank openly and without feeling disempowered.

My second example goes much further back. My memories of childhood had overwhelmingly been very sad. I looked back at childhood with a dark veil over it and I imagined myself a victim and totally without power. Challenging that mind set has been liberating, allowing me to see that a few terrible situations had coloured my vision of my entire childhood. A sad yet avoidable truth. It has taken work which is on- going and now I see my childhood memories with so much more colour. Perhaps some boundaries are gone? Perhaps there are more gates now to the boundaries that remain? Who knows. What I do know is something is shifting, bringing joy and light into my life that wasn’t there before. That can only be a good thing.

Transformation and Freedom

So if you find your self endlessly meeting frustration and disappointment in life, perhaps there is more you can do than you realise? What can you do to challenge your old thinking? Can you create “gates” that bring new perspectives? What can you do to remove boundaries? Have a brainstorming session and see if there could be other ways to look at the situation? Talk with friends and colleagues about the way you see things?

As a life coach I see people’s lives transformed just by viewing old scenarios from another perspective, giving clients power, choice and the freedom to create the life they truly want for themselves.  When I teach I witness students’ horizons broaden with every new perspective they create for themselves.  As a leader I observe people stepping beyond the limited boundaries of their old perceptions and explore new territory that brings new challenges, growth and self- appreciation.

Over to you

I’d love to hear about your experiences of overcoming old ways of thinking and how that has empowered you towards choice and freedom. Please share your frustrations and successes so that we can build a resource on this website that people can come to for education, inspiration and find the ways to live their lives from their fullest potential.

Why not………..

If you found this article useful and interesting please pass it on to other people you think would be interested and spread the word.  I would really appreciate it.  And if you are new to Potentiality Coaching, why not sign up to the e- mailing list at and get an e- mail straight to your in box when I post my monthly blog and be first to hear about news, information and insights at Potentiality Coaching.  I’d love to have you be part of the community.

Life Momentum


Do you feel that your life has momentum? Are you engaged, motivated and energised by the journey you have chosen? Do you notice when your life has drive? Can you relax and allow things to unfold?  Do you recognise the signs that you are coasting? Would you recognise the feeling of your life stagnating? Do you know how to get the drive back?



Like driving a car, life can feel like you are driving forward.  For instance, you have a goal or a destination to reach. It is a wonderful feeling to know you have direction and focus. Perhaps you enjoy the acceleration of the car as you press down on the gas to go faster? It can feel just as invigorating to press down on the accelerator on your life journey.  The energy surges, your mind remains focused on the road.  What is around you and your body feels alive to the whole experience.

This feeling that life is flowing in the right direction for you is a combination of honouring your values and being the person you want to become. The three cornerstones of your being: your physical, mental and spiritual energy.  They are all aligned and pulling in the same direction giving you a sense of power, purpose and potential. You feel alive because you feel that drive.


At times, the car can slip out of gear. Even though you are moving forward, you are coasting.  There is no drive any longer as you are moving forward on the back of previous hard work. This feels different to the mind and body as the energy of your life shifts out of drive. You might notice it as an uncomfortable feeling in your mind, a sense that you should be doing something or that there is a lack of energy in your life. In your body you may feel it as slight tension in the shoulders or gut. It’s often so subtle that you barely notice it and yet the signs are there.

There is nothing wrong with coasting- sometimes you have to let things unfold in their natural time.   No matter how hard you drive, things are not going to move forward any faster.  You are better off sitting back and allowing things to develop at their natural pace. The key is to be aware of this state of things.  Rather than be oblivious to the subtle change in feel, you are aware of how these delicate instruments called your body, mind and spiritual energy feel.  What they are telling you about what is happening in your life? You feel it because you are connected to the energy of your life.  You are aware of this energy because you are connected to the energy of your mind, body and spirit.


Leave this coasting long enough and your life comes to a halt. This too is OK as long as you are aware of it.  Sometimes you just do not know where to go and what direction to take. Are you searching?  Do you feel out for the next step? Are you open to change and new ideas?  Are you closed to the prospect of new vistas and new potential? The extreme scenario of this is stagnation, where your life has been at a standstill for a long time. This is often a sign of lack of awareness, lack of purpose or sticking your head in the sand, unwilling to face what you know you have to deal with.

I am all too familiar with this feeling- the relationship I have been in too long, the change in career direction I’m too afraid to take, or simply the DIY jobs I know I have to do. When the car comes to a stop you become familiar with the landscape around you. This can be a comfort, feel safe and unchallenging. If you feel happy with that, then you are in the right place. For many, this sensation feels stressful.  The body is tense, the mind distracted with accompanying feelings of demotivation, lack of energy and lethargy. This is an ideal time for coaching- a chance to give direction to this stagnating energy and let it flow to create something new, exciting and full of potential.


You may well be familiar with all three of these feelings. I know I have been at different times in my life. I can feel all three at different times in the same day!!!!! The key is awareness and to recognise the feelings in your body, mind and energy so that you know what they mean and you are able to take effective action. This way you are able to drive when it is appropriate, relax and allow things to unfold when it is time and to rest and gently search for the new direction when you require new focus.

The alternative is to drive when it is not appropriate.  This creates stress and tension for your self and others because it is not time to push hard; or to relax when things need to be driven forward otherwise things will come to a halt creating frustration and confusion for your self and the people around you; or to remain stagnant, disempowered to take action and create the life you want for your self and the people in your sphere of influence.


Taking some time out to reflect, be still and listen to the energy of your mind, body and life is important.  You can listen for the signs and hear what they are telling you. You have been endowed by life with this exquisite instrument.  It can tell you the subtle moods and phases of your life.  As a result, take time to listen- go for walks in nature, journal, meditate, talk over ideas with friends and colleagues, go for a drive or other activities that give you a chance to tune in to the messages that your body, mind and life energy are giving you. If you do, it will make you more aware of what needs to be addressed.  It will give you a chance to deal with it.

You are resourceful, creative and whole.  Therefore you have the answers, you simply need to be asking the right questions. Time to reflect can do that for you. And if you feel you need some support in getting going, a life coach may be one of the resources you can call upon.

Over to you

How do you maintain your drive? What resources do you use to get you out of stagnation? Do you find your self relaxing for too long or driving too often or too hard? Whatever your experience, I would love to hear from you.   So why not contribute to our on- line community and help others through this common challenge if you have some keys to success. Or simply offer your experience of being in these situations to offer that sense that others are not alone.

 Pass it on

If you know someone who would benefit from the ideas presented in this blog, please send them the link and give them another opportunity to discover more of their potential.  I would really appreciate it……. and maybe they would too.  And if you are new to Potentiality Coaching, why not sign up to the e- mailing list at and get an e- mail straight to your in box when I post my monthly blog and be first to hear about news, information and insights at Potentiality Coaching.  I’d love to have you be part of the community.

Little Signs of Greatness

Enjoy the process of expressing your talent rather than the outcome

Enjoy the process of expressing your talent rather than the outcome

The Little Signs of Greatness

Do you find that people have some really complementary things to say about you that you just don’t see?

When you compare your self- appraisal at work to others’ appraisals of you, do you find there is a gap?  Are there positive comments about your great results, innate skills and natural talents that aren’t in your self- appraisal?

Do you find that people suggest you’d be brilliant at such and such, yet you cannot see how you’d be any good at it at all?  Would people volunteer you for things you’ve never contemplated because they know you’d be great at it?

Do you find that people see qualities in you that you do not see in your self?

I see this time and again as a teacher, leader, mentor and coach. People are oozing their innate skills all over the place.  Very often they are totally unaware of the impact they are having.  Nor do they realise how they are using their skills to create productive meetings, meaningful connections at work and at home, inspired leadership in all areas of their lives and safe space for others to share, explore and learn.

In my experience, people do not recognise the true power of their innate skills and talents because they undervalue them. May be they have been told that these skills have no purpose or use or that they are inappropriate. Perhaps they exhibit skills and the outcome met with ridicule or punishment.

Maybe all that is needed is the chance to practise in a supportive and encouraging environment?

All skills have value, purpose and worth. Just because the value, worth and purpose of a skill is not seen instantly does not mean it is not there- it takes a wise teacher, mentor, leader or coach to take the time to find the true power of any person’s innate skills. Very often that requires you to take command at some point along your journey and take active steps to use those skills for a meaningful and compelling purpose.

From a personal perspective as a school boy, any attempts at creativity were laughed at to the point I believed I had no creative side in me at all. I busied my self with science and sport which I got better results at, thinking my creative days would never appear.

Yet, unnoticed by me, my creativity came out in play, inventiveness, problem solving and sparks of inspired conversation during self development training and workshop events. All this went unnoticed by me for decades, even though people would tell me otherwise.

Until one weekend workshop I was given the opportunity to write poetry. To my astonishment I really enjoyed the process. I was encouraged to continue enjoying the process without attachment  to how good my poetry was. That starting point has blossomed into published book writing, blogs and endless poems and stories I share with students, clients, family and friends over the subsequent twenty years.  That creativity has opened up other avenues in art, music, dance as well as continued exploration in martial arts.

So, before you dismiss these little signs of greatness, please consider these steps:

1). Listen to what other people say they see in you, especially the words of wise people whom you trust, respect and admire. If many people are saying the same things and you don’t see it, may be they’re onto something and you’re missing it.

2). Explore these possible talents without attachment to the outcomes. For an entire year I burned every poem I wrote without reading it- I’ve kept every one since over the last two decades.

3). Enjoy the process most importantly. It is the enjoyment that brings it to life and to light. The fun brings inquisitiveness, curiosity and exploration, encouraging you to delve deeper, learn and experiment.

4). Go with your instinct. This talent may blossom into other areas that feel even more fulfilling. In true self- exploration, the journey never stops as you uncover more and more talent buried deep within.

5). You do not need to publish, share, put on You Tube, do public demonstrations and speeches to own your skill. Yet I encourage you to own it by continuing to explore and develop your skill. Go public if you wish and remember it is the enjoyment and exploration that fuels the passion. It is your passion. Celebrate it in whatever way for feel inspired to do so.

Over to you

What skills are people telling you that you have? How are you cultivating the skills you do possess? What processes have you been through to develop your skills and talents?  Can you think of roles mentors, teachers, leaders of coaches have played in uncovering your talents. I’d love to hear your story and provide an on- line resource for people to find inspiration, support and guidance to uncover their potential and be all they can be.

Spread the word

If you found this article useful and interesting please pass it on to other people you think would be interested and spread the word.  I would really appreciate it.  And if you are new to Potentiality Coaching, why not sign up to the e- mailing list at and get an e- mail straight to your in box when I post my monthly blog and be first to hear about news, information and insights at Potentiality Coaching.  I’d love to have you be part of the community.